Hellbound
by nirvana heart
Summary: After leaving school, Darrell has no clue what he wants to do with his life. Professor Oak entrusts him with a Charmander, and he travels around a troubled Kanto, discovering friends, enemies, and the dude inside he never knew existed. It won't be easy.
1. Hellbound

Kanto had always been boring for me.

I had no interest in Pokémon whatsoever, and I was 17, everyone expected it of me, to become some legendary great. I hated the battling, hated how brutal it was - witnessing the actual death of a Pokémon in battle was common and it was just how it was. Everyone was used to it. Me, though, I _never_ got used to it. I hated the battles most of all - didn't hate the Pokémon, as such. The way everyone seemed to be so damn brainwashed into this ridiculous glorification of death and fighting…

I guess I should introduce myself, huh? I'm Darrell.

And _God, _did I hate Kanto. With a deep burning passion.

Everybody there was so nuts about Pokémon. That I didn't mind, I would just deal with it. Parents pressuring me to go out and catch some and become a champion - that began to grind my gears. Everybody in the whole goddamn world looking down on anyone who didn't have a Pokémon - I got angry, and when Darrell got angry, bad things happened. Then the knowledge that there were other regions out there just as bad as Kanto, battling each other constantly for their own pride, made me a little bit suicidal.

Then, one boring-as-per-bloody-usual day in my home town of Pallet, that all changed.

* * *

"Darrell! I won't call you again!" _Good. _It was 9 in the morning, on a Saturday, and I'd spent the whole Friday night out with a couple of friends. It had been a silly, mischief-filled evening with lots of drink and heavy metal. It was how I spent most of my nights, outside or not, now that I'd finished school at seventeen years old.

I wasn't the top A student, but I wasn't at the bottom of the pile either. I did well in the more creative subjects like art and music. My best was history. I wasn't bad at chemistry either and ended up with an A in my final results somehow. Bs for everything else. Maths wasn't my strong point and I was glad to be rid of it. School was fun, and I had a lot of friends. Perfect.

But I had absolutely no clue what I wanted to do with my life.

I murmured something unintelligible, shoving my face into the pillow.

"Darrell Alan Redford!"

_Shit just got real. _My full name meant serious business. I removed myself from bed, trudging downstairs, bare-chested and only in a pair of boxers and socks. Completely presentable. She was standing in the kitchen, handbag over her shoulder. My siblings were all somewhere in the living room. I had two of them. My youngest brother, Zack, was six and I would admit any day that I did have a soft spot for him, even though he caused Hell wherever he went. Then there was Eddie, who was fourteen and a smart kid. He resembled Kurt Cobain in almost every way, aside from the hair colour. Curls ran in the family but for some reason, Eddie didn't have them. He was a good kid.

"Mother, it is nine in the morning, and I spent all of last night drinking," I whined. "Does your dearest Darrell not receive some form of award for being addicted to fun rather than drugs?"

"No, he does not!" Eddie called back from somewhere.

"Darrell, I need you to watch the boys. I have to go to work, they need someone to cover Sylvia since she's away on holiday. There's a list of things for you to do, I stuck it to the fridge, okay? See you later."

Before I had time to protest, she was gone with a slam of the front door. Fucking Sylvia always chose the right times to go on holiday. I looked over at Eddie, who was smiling at me from the couch in his black Nirvana T-shirt, blue jeans and blindingly white socks, playing with a Poké Ball. Always cheerful. Eddie was probably one of my favourite people, and he _was_ a good trainer. He only had one Pokémon, a Wartortle with a nickname I couldn't remember, but he was tough. He didn't take it very seriously and the Pokémon was his friend, not just a battler like most people raised them into.

Eddie was laughing at something Zack had said as I slugged myself over to the fridge to find the list of things I would be forced to do. _Oh well, at least I'll actually get something done, whether I like it or not._ I was the kind of person that liked both lazing about, but also being productive. I hated sleeping days away, but getting up at 9AM thanks to my mother's shouting was not exactly something I enjoyed either.

The list was nothing special, just the usual Saturday: drop off Zack at my grandmother's house, take Eddie to his karate class at 12, go and talk to Professor Oak because he wants to see me…wait, _what?_

The Professor? He wanted to see _me?_ That had to be wrong. Mum must have had other reasons, she must have meant it for Eddie, or maybe even Dad, but not me. I didn't have a Pokémon. I was the only one in our family that didn't - apart from Zack, but he was definitely obsessed with them and already he'd decided he was going to be a hotshot trainer when he was old enough.

"Darrell!"

I hadn't realised Eddie had been calling me. I had been staring at the list, trying to figure out why Professor Oak wanted to see _me._ I wasn't a trainer and didn't plan on becoming one, at all. I had interests in other things. Eddie called for me again, lacking the frustration my mother had. It was a great thing to have a smart brother.

"Darrell, Zack's got his arm stuck in the sofa again!"

Idiot.

* * *

After a busy morning, it was ten past 12 in the afternoon and I was strangely happy. Zack was at my grandmother's and would be there for hours to come, Mum would pick him up later, and Eddie was punching and kicking away at his karate class. I had the house to myself, and was ready to laze about watching wrestling…when the realisation dawned on me. Professor Goddamn Oak wanted to see me.

Eddie's Wartortle had been let out of its ball and was wandering around, looking curiously at everything. He had been strictly trained to never, under any circumstances, spray eater on anything in the house. I didn't really know whether or not to leave him out; I didn't really know if he was mischievous or not, Eddie knew him better than I did.

I pulled on my black jacket while attacking my long hair with a brush - Mum had always wanted me to cut it off and look 'presentable', but naturally, I didn't listen to her. My hair. My rules.

"Hey!" I called out to the Wartortle, throwing the brush onto the sofa and the Pokémon's interest perked up at the sound of my voice. "You be good, okay? I want to find this house intact when I come back. Alright? Alright."

The journey across Pallet Town didn't even take ten minutes, but I brought along my MP3 just to speed up the time. I was quite happy to stroll across the few streets, clicking my fingers to Iron Maiden - I'd always loved metal, and Maiden would always be one of my very favourite bands. Eddie took after me, musically, and loved every moment of it. Many a night we would sit together and talk about all our favourite bands, introducing new ones to each other. I was the reason Nirvana were his favourite, he was the reason I still loved Iron Maiden.

Arriving at Professor Oak's laboratory meant I had to halt the solo from _Aces High_, but I figured I would just listen later and entered the lab reluctantly. This had to be a mistake. I knew the Professor fairly well; I accompanied Eddie when he first received his Squirtle, but I had no sudden epiphanies that I wanted to own a Pokémon. They just remained as they always had, in my mind. I was happy that my brother was happy, whether or not I was interested.

"Professor?"

"Ah, Darrell!"

Yeah. He _had_ been looking for me. He was a great old man, I had to give it to him. The kids loved him and he was a charming, smart, kind guy. I did like him, but not enough to talk to him about Pokémon. I had grown up always knowing him; I had no hesitations about talking to him. It was just the subject of conversation that made me a little…well, _edgy_ would have to be the right word. _Nervous_ wasn't what I was trying to say.

"Yeah," I said rather unnecessarily, walking up to him and shaking his hand. He beckoned me to sit down and I took the nearest seat. "My mum said I was to come see you. I thought she might have meant Eddie instead of me, though."

"No, no, it's definitely you I want to see. Now, Darrell, what are your aspirations in life?"

Shit. _Way to put me on the spot._ To be honest, I really didn't know. My best subjects in school had always been Art and History, about as different you could get. But I didn't have enough passion for history to want to do it for the rest of my life - art, though, was a different story. I always found myself drawing _something,_ and if I didn't do it at least once a day, it was like I had forgotten something essential to my life, like I had forgotten to wake up. Eddie, bless his soul, always said I was good at it, he liked my drawings. I hadn't ever really thought about becoming an artist. I knew that everybody expected me to become a fantastic Pokémon trainer - not even becoming a millionaire lawyer would be good enough. I had always been terrible at anything to do with law.

"Something to do with art, I guess. I like drawing."

It seemed only a curious question. Surely he wouldn't call me to his lab just to know what I wanted to do in life. Immediately then, I knew what he was going to talk about. Pokémon.

"And do you have any Pokémon?"

"I'm not a trainer."

"Really, now? I think your brother Edward has inherited your spirit, Darrell. You were always tough and passionate, did you know? Even as a child. You would make a fantastic trainer."

Whatever that meant.

"I haven't really thought about it."

"At your age, Darrell, you'll already know a lot about battling-" How much I hated it. "-and how to raise them, even if you have never owned one before."

Well, it seemed as if I was being forced into this. Whatever, an extra friend wouldn't hurt. Professor Oak showed me to the ball on the table, and it opened automatically in a bright flash of white. Sitting in front of me, after I regained my sight, was a little orange reptile, with a flame on the end of its tail. It looked up at me with bright blue eyes, and smiled a sharp-toothed grin.

"That's a Charmander," Oak explained. The little thing was actually kind of cute, when I thought about it. I reached out my hand to pet it, and it responded happily, pushing upwards into my hand and growling quietly at my touch. "A Fire type. They can be difficult to raise at first, but they are extremely loyal, and their attacks are devastating."

"I can take it?" I asked stupidly, not really realising what was going on. Me, Darrell Redford, someone who had never had a Pokémon before…was becoming strangely attached to the Charmander already just through one touch. Maybe this was why people loved them so much. Maybe…but I would still hate battling with a passion. _Unless absolutely necessary,_ I considered adding to my personal philosophy.

"All yours."

He had to be shitting me.

"Thanks!"

"Not a problem. My grandson, Gary, is about your age. He's up in Viridian Forest, right now. I think it'd be a good idea for you to go and talk to him, he could give you some help."

He almost pushed me out of the lab after a few more words, but I guessed that my goal in life now was to raise the Charmander as my friend. Maybe I would even go on one of those journeys. But of course, I would have to talk about it with my parents, and let Eddie know, and then there was Zack. I did love them all, as much as my parents annoyed me a lot of the time, and as loud as Zack could be. I would talk to them about it that evening, I decided.

I released the Charmander from the Poké Ball, and it seemed happy to be out with me. He looked up at me with adoration and curiosity, and I scoffed at what Professor Oak had said. Difficult to raise, my ass. I bent down to its level and let out a 'hmmm'. A few things had to be sorted before I could start raising it.

"I should really give you a name."

It stared at me, and nodded a little, before looking to its tail. It actually understood me. Pokémon weren't as strange as I thought they had been. It shocked me a little, and brought me that little bit closer.

"Well, first, are you a boy or a girl? One for boy, two for girl."

"Char!"

"Boy it is…something simple, then…" Coming up with a name had never been an easy task for me - it had taken me over an hour to think of what to name my enemy character on an old video game, until Eddie grabbed the controller from me and put in something rather vulgar. But this had to be a simple name, something I could easily remember. "Flame? It's awful, I know…but it suits you, little guy."

"Char-char!"

He seemed happy enough.


	2. Goddamn Electric

Viridian Forest was a deep woodland expanding across Route 2, reaching to Pewter City in the north. The trees in the area had grown so dense that light had trouble getting through, making the whole place dark and gloomy. I'd been there countless times, mostly with Eddie and Zack, but I was still _edgy _about going into the place. Getting through Route 1 and Viridian City had been easy. Flame had taken down any opponent, and I'd learnt his attacks. Scratch and Growl. Hopefully soon, he would learn a useful Fire attack that would help out a bunch in a place infested with bugs.

Since it was only around 1PM by now, I had truckloads of time left to myself. Zack and Mum wouldn't be home for ages, Dad would be back even later. Eddie made his own way home from Saffron by bus. I basically had the entire day to do what I liked and nobody would have missed me. I was 17, after all, and my parents did trust me enough to let me go out and come back late. I would find this Gary dude, and maybe begin training up Flame. I'd had him for about half an hour and already he seemed to adore me - he was reluctant to go back inside his ball, and was much more content with hugging my leg. Cute.

Flame stuck with me as we entered the forest, the light and airy place I knew so well that would evolve into the eerie maze later on. We strolled to the left to do a little bit of training, and I suspected that Flame had gained a few levels by now. He seemed overly happy to be rushing into the grass but it turned out something had caught his eye.

"Char! Charrr!"

"What is it, boy?"

Flame came rushing back to me with another Poké Ball in his mouth, and he dropped it into my hand. It must have been lying around, empty, since nothing came out when I opened it. It was still functional, so I shrugged and placed it into my pocket. I had a bit of an urge to add another Pokémon to my team. On the way to the forest, I had been thinking over whether or not I would leave home and go on some kind of journey. I liked travelling, and if it meant going around with Pokémon, then that was fine in my book. Collecting Gym Badges was just a side challenge. Hell, it would be fun. A way to pass my time. I'd even make money if I won battles, as much as I hated them.

I hated battles so much because I hated seeing the Pokémon get hurt. Believe it or not. Pokémon rarely died in battle, but it still happened, and it was the way people were so used to it. And the fact people actually did it without any mercy. I knew I couldn't let myself become that way, and I never would. The fainting wasn't as bad, but I could still remember my stomach and heart seizing up when a Pokémon on the TV that had tried so hard to win just collapsed out of sheer exhaustion, and promising myself, I would never have let that happen to any of mine if I'd had them.

Now, though, I had Flame. It was my duty and my role to protect him while he was still growing, and raise him into the Pokémon I knew he was capable of being. There was no way I could prevent him fainting in battle, but I would certainly do all I could to avoid it, and most of all, to heal him in time. Already, losing the little guy was a horrible thought.

I began looking through the grass, getting on my knees and parting it, with Flame by my side, ready to attack. I ignored the bugs, knowing for a fact that Pikachu lived in the forest and if I was going to capture anything, it would be something I could use and would be strong. The Bug Pokémon were notoriously weak. The first Gym, in Pewter City ahead, was a Rock-type. A Charmander and a Pikachu both were useless in that situation, but I wasn't thinking about the Gym. I had to focus on the Pokémon being my friend, not a scapegoat for battle.

After about ten minutes of searching, Flame let out a whine of frustration. "Chaaar!"

"Calm down, little dude. We'll find-"

I heard some rustling to my left and Flame perked up, ready to attack, but I gestured at him to hold him back and he did so obediently. Pushing the grass away, expecting to find some bug or maybe even a bird, I found exactly what I wanted. A Pikachu, nibbling away at some sweet-looking, shocking pink berries. It hadn't even appeared to notice us.

"Flame, you ready?"

Flame lunged at the Pikachu and scratched it once; the electric rodent didn't even appear to dodge, just lay there, completely surprised and now in pain. My heart tugged, knowing the little thing was probably still young and still didn't really know how to defend itself. I pulled out the Poké Ball Flame had found for me - knew it'd come in useful - and pressed it against the Pikachu's body, enveloping it in a red light. I held it tight, as it shook in my hands, but was then still.

"Looks like we have another little dude, Flame," I winked at my little fighter, who stomped around, his tail blazing much brighter than usual. My heart began to swell up with pride, and I couldn't help but smile. I was actually beginning to like all this Pokémon stuff. Maybe it was just as good as everybody said it was. Maybe the love they felt for you, and the love you gave back, really was worth everything they went through. Maybe.

* * *

It wasn't hard to find Gary. I'd never met him, but I had seen him around when I was growing up and he hadn't changed a little bit. Still donned with a mane of brown hair, still wearing a purple jumper, he was inspecting something in a few trees when I saw him, and walked up to him.

"Hey, bro! I-"

"What the _fuck_ are you doing with that Pokémon? That's my granddad's! You stole it!"

Panic surged through me and my hands flew upwards in surrender. Flame hid behind me, clearly recognising Gary and not liking him. The Pikachu I'd caught was still resting inside his ball, and I didn't want to bring him out in front of such a horrible person.

"Wait a minute! He _sent _me here, he gave this one to me, he-"

"Fucking thief! I'm gonna take him back! Come on, let's fight! I win, I get the Charmander! Go, Squirtle!" A flash of white light blinded us all for a second or two and there was a Squirtle, standing in front of Gary, looking completely confused.

"Squirtle, Tackle it!"

"Gary, for fuck's sake!"

He didn't stop, didn't falter. This guy meant business.

"Alright, then! Flame, scratch him!"

I didn't want to hurt the Squirtle. At all. But Flame scratched it and it backed away, holding its bleeding wound, but Gary seemed to have no mercy at all - not on me, or Flame, or his own Pokémon. It was pitiful, really, and the exact reason I hated all of this.

"You brute! You absolute brute!"

_"I am not a thief!"_ I cried back, but he was listening to nothing apart from his own voice. Flame was beginning to take some serious hits so I recalled him before he became dangerously hurt, and with reluctance, sent out my Pikachu, realising the obvious type advantage and hoping it knew an Electric move.

"Pikachu! Thundershock it, and if you can't, Tackle!"

It seemed to understand me well - and thankfully enough, it did know Thundershock as I had hoped. One bolt of lightning sent Squirtle to the ground, close to unconsciousness. Pikachu let out a yip of joy and I found myself hugging my newest team-mate, tougher than I had first made it out to be.

"If you'd just let me finish my goddamn sentence, I wouldn't have had to do that," I looked at Pikachu, who had sustained minimal damage, and picked it up in my arms. "My name is Darrell. Your grandfather wanted to see me, we had a talk, and he gave me that Charmander. Then he said I should go and find you to get some advice, but the only advice I'm going to take is to get myself to a Pokémon Center and heal my guys up. You should, as well."

I turned on my heel and left him alone, not wanting to be burdened with his existence any longer.

* * *

"Well then, little dude, you definitely surprised me back there!" I happily laughed. Pikachu and Flame were walking beside me confidently, having been healed at the Center in Viridian City. Flame was probably around level 11 by now and Pikachu at level 7 or 8, so I figured that I would just go home for now and think about what to do with my companions.

The sky was beginning to darken slightly, - I'd been outside longer than I'd realised. My watch told me 4:30PM, meaning that Eddie would be home by now. Part of me yearned to speak to my little brother, so I trudged on through Route 1 again and only until I was outside my house did I realise that Pikachu didn't have a nickname, nor did I know its gender.

Same method. "Pikachu, tell me this and tell me no more. One for boy, two for girl."

"Pika!"

Thinking up a name for Pikachu was going to be even more difficult. I was trying to stray away from obvious type-related names, but Flame was the exception. He seemed like a charismatic, sweet little Pokémon, and definitely a keeper. What in the world was a name that could give him justice?

I thought back to a movie I'd watched with Eddie only yesterday.

"Ace," I grinned, looking down at my electric mouse. "Your name is Ace."

Ace seemed delighted to have a nickname, and I was beginning to really take a shine to him. Opening the front door introduced me to Eddie, on the sofa as he usually was, and I closed the door to alert him of my presence. He jumped, and looked surprised to see me - then even more surprised when he saw who I was with.

"Don't tell me! You got Pokémon!"

"A+ for Edward," I grinned, knowing that usage of his full name would enrage him playfully. "Know how Professor Oak wanted to see me? He just gave me the Charmander. Literally just gave him to me. Not a clue why, but I'm not complaining. His name's Flame, by the way. And I caught this one in the forest, his name's Ace."

Eddie was completely taken with them - he was already bent down to Flame's level, petting him and laughing. Ace seemed interested and was sniffing him all over, which made Eddie laugh. The sky outside was melting down to a inky-blue navy, and it wasn't even 5PM yet. Oh well, that's winter for you. I didn't really like living in so much darkness all the time, but it was just something you had to deal with. Most times nobody even paid much attention to it, but it would mean if I was to go out travelling, I wouldn't exactly be doing it for very long.

"So, what are you going to do?" Eddie asked, getting back up and tilting his head at me in that cute little way he always did. Meant you had to give him what he wanted. Stupid brothers. "Mum will shit bricks when she sees you have an electric mouse and a fire lizard about the house."

"Pardon your French. And I don't even know what I'm going to do yet. Travelling around Kanto seems like fun. I have no real reason for doing it, though."

_"Au contraire,_ lesser mortal," Eddie laughed, raising his arms dramatically like some goddamn Shakespeare play. The use of 'lesser mortal' really indicated his love for his big brother. "You have every reason. It'd be a lot of fun! You'd get to battle people! And you'd make some money, wouldn't you, big boy? Oh, and make sure to become the Champion for me, okay? The boys at school will never hear the end of it from me if you do!"

"Absolutely."

I was allowed to do anything I wanted. As long as I asked my mother first.


	3. Yesterday Don't Mean Shit

"Darrell, are you _crazy? _Yesterday you didn't care about Pokémon at all - now you've caught two, and you want to go travelling around the whole region?"

Dinner wasn't awkward at all.

Note my sarcasm.

My mother had been completely against the idea of me leaving home for a while to go out and travel. She said I had jumped into it too fast, hadn't thought it out clearly. However, my father and Eddie fought for me - Zack did too, but his argument consisted of how much he wanted a dragon and I was to go and catch him one. Eddie had actual valid points as did my father, and I sat there in the midst of it all, not even participating in a fight I was the subject of.

"Pass the gravy, please."

"Darrell, there is no way I'm letting you go out alone and do that. You're _seventeen,_ we might let you stay out late but at least we know where you are."

"Here you go," Eddie actually answered my statement. My love and respect for him tripled and I sent him a wink that clearly meant, _I'll talk to you later._ He was my best friend, he really was. Flame and Ace sat on my lap, waiting patiently for any food I didn't have room for. I had assumed they ate berries most of the time, so I made a mental note to find or buy some, but there was no harm in giving them some human food.

"I think Darrell's old enough to go out and travel," Dad shrugged, popping a slice of chicken into his mouth. "They're letting ten-year-old kids go out alone, you know. Pokémon aren't weak when you raise them correctly. They provide more protection than anything else."

"Darrell's never _had_ a Pokémon!"

"Could you please stop speaking for me?" I interrupted. I had had enough of this ridiculous fight. Slamming my hand onto the table to silence everyone had worked. "I _do_ have a voice. Yes, for your information, I've never had Pokémon before. But it doesn't make me _stupid._ It all just seems to come to you naturally. I already know what my little guys are saying and feeling. You can't judge me on that. If I want to go out and travel, why can't I? Just to back up what Dad said."

"You're independent, Darrell, and you always have been," my father smiled at me. "Even as a kid, you learnt things by yourself. I hear all these stories in the papers about these ridiculous fanatic trainers trying to have it all, and everything crashes down on them when they can't handle it. Our Darrell isn't like that, and he's doing this because he has to do something that makes _him_ happy, not because he wants the money or the glory. And you say that we won't know where he is - it's why they invented the phone, and it's partially why some Pokémon have wings. I say, go out and do what you want, son."

February 16th: I hugged my own father.

* * *

Eddie came up to my room when my parents went to bed. I was still up, watching the late-night movie channel that was having a marathon of Stephen King novels that had been made into movies. My favourite. I had been somewhere through _The Shining _when Eddie came in.

"Y'alright?" I asked him, not moving from my lovely bed. If Darrell won't go to Edward, then Edward must indeed go to Darrell.

"Yeah. Just thinking."

He sat on the edge of my bed, I told him that he could make himself comfortable. I turned down the volume on the television and switched on the lamp on my bedside table. Flame was inside his Poké Ball on the table - Ace hadn't wanted to go in, so I let him sleep beside me. He didn't at all mind my strange tendency to cuddle the person next to me in my sleep.

"Are you really leaving? When are you going to do it?"

"I'm planning on going the day after tomorrow…or, today, I should say. I want to buy stuff tomorrow and train up my guys. Maybe catch another."

Then, I realised what he'd meant. _Are you really leaving?_ He didn't care when, or what I was doing. He just didn't want me to go. And to be fairly honest, I didn't want to leave either - or specifically, I didn't want to leave Eddie. But there was no way Mum would let him go with me: I was seventeen and barely allowed to go as it was. Eddie was fourteen and that meant there was absolutely no chance for him. I could see it in his eyes and just his personality; Eddie was a free-spirited person and he loved meeting people, talking to people, and he was always surrounded by friends.

"Eddie," I sighed, noticing that his head was hung, his brown locks covering his face. "You know I'll visit you all the time. Fuck, I want you to come with me more than anything, but you know _she_ won't stand for it. I was up researching and reading about Pokémon after dinner, and my Flame is going to evolve into a fucking badass Charizard and those guys have wings, so I'll come back and take you for rides. You'll get to go out and travel too, Ed, I promise you will. Absolutely promise it."

"Don't let anything happen to your guys," Eddie smiled, quite tearfully, but I didn't mention it. He was right, though. I had to protect Flame and Ace whether or not it meant my life - I had grown attached to them that fast. I would just have to make them stronger and let them battle, let them discover things for themselves. The idea of my life, now, without them seemed so _dull._ Like Flame and Ace had unknowingly injected an explosion of colour into my world.

I still didn't understand the Pokémon battling hype, though.

* * *

Morning came to me slowly.

I woke up, tucked in my bed, television and lamp off, with Ace in my arms and Eddie-less. I hated mornings with a passion but I got out of bed anyway, placing Ace where I had been and wrapping the covers around him. He and Flame deserved a lie in for now.

It was still too early to get up, but I felt too _edgy_ to go back to sleep. My stomach was in knots, and I tried to calm myself down: I wasn't planning on leaving today, but part of my mind was willing for me to get the hell out of Pallet Town as soon as possible. _I'll just buy stuff and train today,_ I told my brain, then sent it a message to kindly shut up.

Then. The moment. _What the fuck do I even need?_

I had seen these 'ridiculous fanatic trainers' - as my father had so accurately put it - with ton-weight bags slung over their shoulders, most likely full of pointless shit they didn't need. I would only be taking the bare essentials. Maybe I could buy one of those funky belts that held Poké Balls. Depending on how much money they were. I didn't have any source of income as it was and the only way I would start raking in the bucks - battle. _Ugh._

_I'll have to do what Mum does. Make a list. God, does she love lists._

If there was one thing I had to admire about my mother, it was how painstakingly organised she was.

What she had said at dinner made me think. _Yesterday you didn't care about Pokémon at all. _That was true. I hadn't. But things could change quickly, and it didn't matter that I didn't care about them _yesterday,_ because I cared about them _now._ Flame and Ace had injected an entire explosion of colour into my boring life in boring Kanto. I wasn't letting myself become a compulsive battler, I would still avoid it because I was sure that my feelings toward it wouldn't change. They were set. I despised battling but you didn't _need_ to do it.

But why _did_ I feel this irrepressible need to leave Pallet Town as soon as possible? I didn't want to leave my family just like that, without me. I wanted to have good reason, and I did want to stay, but the majority of me was desperate to be outside and experience something I never had before. There was nothing in the town for me. I hated Kanto. It was just so goddamn _boring._

I just wanted a reason to leave. Flame and Ace were providing that for me.

_I need to talk to the Professor._

* * *

My Sundays were usually spent doing homework, lazing around, or hanging out with my friends but I didn't want to do any of that. I fixed Zack and Eddie some breakfast before Mum and Dad got up - Sunday was their lie in and woe betide anyone who disturbed them, it was just a common rule in the Redford household.

"Look after Zack, will you," I said to Eddie, pulling on my jacket once again and tying my shoelaces. Flame and Ace's Poké Balls were secure in my pocket. My grunge brother looked at me, confused. I paid more attention to his Soundgarden T-shirt rather than his face. Part of me couldn't look at him.

"Where you going?"

"Going to see the Professor. And before you ask, I _am _coming back. I'm going to catch the bus to Celadon, though, to buy some stuff. Right. See you."

I didn't give him any time to protest or say anything - I didn't want to speak to him or Zack or any of my family. Once outside and walking through the sunny streets, I released Ace and let him sit on my shoulder. Quality time wouldn't hurt. There was something oddly endearing about having the electric mouse sit with me. Young to-be trainers inhabited Pallet Town with their own Pokémon, and they were eyeing me enviously. Pikachu were popular with the kids.

I let myself into the Professor's lab and the brilliant old man, thankfully, was there, reading a complicated-looking book. Ace hopped off my shoulder and obediently stayed at my feet. He was learning well. It was hard not to feel intimidated by the machines and floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, stacked to the brim with books. A quick calculation made me realise I would never be able to read them all. Ever.

"Darrell! You're keeping well?"

"Absolutely."

The guy saw me yesterday. Of course I was keeping well.

"Is it alright…if I ask you about a few things?" I sighed, and he nodded, letting me sit down on the couch opposite him. Ace jumped into my lap and sat there quite happily. "Yeah, uh, I caught this guy yesterday. He's really…he's great."

"Not bad for a first catch," Professor Oak grinned at me. "Also, I must say a few things as well. I'd like to apologise for Gary's behaviour. And congratulate you, now, on your first catch. I'd also like to give you these!" He took out a small, red device I recognised as the Kanto PokéDex, and placed it onto my hand. Then he handed me four tiny Poké Balls, and I tried not to sigh. Now I really would have to go out and do something.

"Thanks," I smiled, mentally noting to buy a backpack when I went to Celadon later. "But, like I said. I wanted to ask you something."

"Go ahead. I'm listening."

"Well," I cleared my throat. "I used to not really care for Pokémon much. I don't like the whole battling aspect of it. Some people have no mercy at all. I think it's cruel. But, with my guys here…I really want to go out travelling. Train them up. _Maybe_ go and collect the badges. I just need a legitimate reason for leaving…"

"You have the strength to become a brilliant trainer, Darrell. You don't need to have a reason for going out and travelling the region with Pokémon. Why do you think the younger children do it? Because it's fun, because they want to. You should do it because you want to, too. Never mind what your mother says, I know just what she's like. You're feeling you need a reason to leave because it's been so sudden, yes?"

"That'd be it."

"Have a little think about it some more. You have every reason to leave, Darrell. If you want to do it, and it makes you happy - it matters not whether you cared about Pokémon yesterday. You care about them now. You can achieve great things, Darrell. I gave you that Pokémon because I believe you can go on and accomplish those things."

I didn't say anything. I didn't need to, and he understood.


	4. You've Got To Belong To It

Some serious best friend therapy was in order.

Joel had been my best friend for as long as I could remember, even when he and his family moved across the region to the deeply religious Lavender Town. If there was anywhere in Kanto I would never want to live, it was there. Joel wasn't religious, and it seemed like he never would be - he was an only child, and was the black sheep and the sore thumb of his nauseatingly boring, beige family. It would have been funny if I didn't feel sorry for him.

Joel and I were friends because we had both been outcasts in primary school. Nobody had spoken to me, and nobody had spoken to him - only to tease, taunt, and bully him, because he spoke with a different accent and couldn't pronounce certain words. Nowadays, at seventeen, he still had the accent and spoke with pride. Back then, life was different and when he was six, he'd been pushed to the ground and scraped his knee pretty badly. I had helped him up and taken him to the school nurse, telling him it was okay and that I wouldn't let them do it to him again. He was younger than my by a few months but looked out for me like a big brother would; like I always did for Eddie, and now I would have to do for Flame and Ace.

I almost fell asleep on the bus, the journey from Pallet Town to Lavender Town far too long for my liking - but the screeching guitars from Death rang my ears enough to keep myself and everyone else awake. My mind tried not to focus on how much my life had suddenly swerved towards a completely different path, all because of my Pokémon. I wanted to focus on how I used to feel, how the music made me feel better and how I could sit and think up little fantasies and stories to every song, like trailers for movies only I would ever get to see.

Lavender Town was bathed in sun but no matter how much the sun blessed the place, it just didn't look any better. It still felt cold and gloomy even though I was roasting to death in a leather jacket. I always thought it was a depressing place. Oh well. Almost everything else in my life had changed over the course of a day, but the sixty-billion-year-old fact that Lavender Town sucked…hadn't.

Way to be fair.

* * *

"So you got a Pokémon at long last, huh?"

"Yup. And now I have no clue what to do."

Joel had decided that a shopping spree in Celadon City was the best way to cheer me up. Such a fucking girly thing to do but I went with it anyway. A pineapple-and-raspberry smoothie was the best thing about the enormous Mart in the city and we sat on the top floor together, talking about my little situation. He had been stirring his strawberry smoothie, with his straw, for about ten minutes and it was beginning to really piss me off.

"Are you even gonna drink that?"

"You have no clue how many times I have bought one of these to find they barely blended the strawberry. Therefore I am mixing it and making it _smooth._ Why it is called a _smoothie."_

I rolled my eyes and looked back to my own purple concoction, taking another gulp. "Fuck. This is really good."

"I know."

"I might need to buy, like, a hundred of these."

Joel shrugged, but with a cheeky smile on his face, hand still stirring away. "Do it! Unless you plan on buying stuff for your Pokémon. A couple of trainers passed through Lavender yesterday and their bags were twice the size of me. They looked ready to die, but me being lovely, I laughed at them."

"Silly people."

"I know! And Rock Tunnel is nearby, so they'd obviously went through it with ton weights on their back. That is not a smart thing to do, especially when Rock Tunnel is, like, fuckin' gigantic. If I were you, I wouldn't even _bother_ risking it, or even taking a bag with me. Take a goddamn bus."

"It kinds of defeats the point," I laughed. Joel never, ever failed to cheer me up and it was one of the ten billion reasons we were best friends. "A Pokémon _journey,_ not a Pokémon bus ride."

"That's why I'd never go on one. I'd just get pissed and ask my mum for a lift to the next town. Fight a Gym Leader, beat their ass, revel in the glory, and then call Mother Dearest."

"Pissed as in drunk, or pissed as in off? I can see those both happening."

We slapped each other high fives and he _finally_ began to drink his damn smoothie - with a lining of pink above his top lip, he pouted: he looked ridiculous and I was almost on the floor. I felt the tears of laughter spurt down my cheeks as he cracked a couple of jokes, talking in a silly voice and imitating the trainers he had seen the day before.

"In all due seriousness, my Darrell!" he exclaimed, wiping the smoothie away from his lips and preventing further humour. "You should do it because you want to. Do it to kill the time, even. It's not like you're at school or anything. And if you actually won those badge things it'd be pretty excellent. If you managed to beat the Elite Four, you might even get an award!"

"I might get two broken legs."

"How so?"

"Vigorous attempts to kill myself. I saw Agatha on the TV once. Scariest woman alive."

Joel, like the Professor, was firm in the belief I should leave home and travel Kanto because I wanted to. I had to admit, I _did_ want to travel; I wanted away from opportunity-less Pallet Town. The situations came to my mind, just like they had when music provoked them to - scaling through caves and tunnels, exploring cities I hadn't been to before, partaking in the Safari Zone, battling, catching Pokémon for my team…it felt _right_ in some kind of strange way, like I was supposed to do it. The earlier, the better. My heart pounded when I thought about feeling so _free -_ walking around at 4AM because I had no family to pull me back inside and force me to sleep. _Hell yeah. _I was definitely going to leave as soon as possible.

"First, _mi amigo,_" Joel clearly read my mind because of my long silence. "We better gear you up."

* * *

The Trainer's Market was one of the floors of the Celadon Mart, and without a doubt the most popular: it was constantly inhabited by trainers young and old. We raced down there after our drinks and Joel thrust things into my hands as we scaled the aisles frantically, not even looking at what we were about to buy.

"…and _this,_ and this…oh, that looks good, let's get that…"

"Joel, _darling, _whatever happened to taking only the bare necessities?"

I expected the Disney song to be stuck in my head forever thanks to Joel's singing but no such luck. He didn't even get the reference. Instead, he turned to me, and began laughing. I must have looked ridiculous with so much rubbish in my hands. He dragged me to an empty aisle and we sat together on the floor, spreading the contents out and organising everything. Two seventeen-year-old metal heads sitting on the floor, in a store dedicated to Pokémon wasn't weird at all.

"Let's think. Right, you'll _definitely_ need a bag, so we'll keep that…and we can put the medical stuff back, I just remembered you can buy first-aid boxes and stuff for cheap…"

It took a lot to stop me from punching him. But me being kind, sweet, lovely Darrell, didn't.

"…okay, let's divide this up…this thing has a few pockets."

"How about we actually just _buy_ things first, and then divide them up later? Jesus, Joel, you're supposed to be smart."

Reason ten-billion-and-one why he was my best friend.

* * *

"…and done! Man, I'm actually fuckin' envious."

We had bought a fair-sized, black bag that was droopy and hung about my hips. Joel was good at organising things - which was why he and my mum got on so well, regrettably - and he helped me divide everything up into the pockets. The smallest pocket held Poké Balls and there was still room for quite an amount - we figured I wasn't going to be catching many more Pokémon so the ones I owned went in there. The second-largest was dedicated to medicine, the second-smallest for battle items, and the largest went for everything else.

"I bet you are," I grinned, and hit him another high-five in appreciation. "Thanks, man."

"Your mum would be proud of my superior organisation skills. But I can't believe my best ever friend, who didn't care about Pokémon, is now leaving to go travel around the entire region. You better come and visit me, okay? And for fuck's sake, _don't_ go through Rock Tunnel when your bag weighs a ton weight!"

I promised him I would visit him as often as possible.

A voice in my mind was telling me I wouldn't even get that far.


	5. Revolution Is My Name

I didn't speak to my parents about Pokémon.

Eddie and Zack, bless their souls, did. Zack climbed into my lap while I was watching a movie after dinner, and proceeded to hug me until I responded equally. He murmured something about dragons, reinforcing the fact I was still to catch him one when I saw one. _If I ever see one,_ I wanted to say, but breaking my youngest brother's heart was something I couldn't do.

I went to bed like I always did, but I had it in my head that I was going to leave early that morning, before anyone could notice. Mainly because I didn't want anyone hurting or saying I hadn't sorted anything out. I had it all planned, contrary to their belief. My bag was packed and ready, lying at my desk. I'd tidied my room and re-organised everything, just to pass time. I'd called the school and told them I wouldn't be there for a while - it was common, everybody had left for Pokémon, at some time or another. The school even encouraged it. _I can always go back to school. But what was I going to do with life, anyway? _It seemed so easy. Too easy, really. It seemed as if they were glad to be rid of Darrell Redford at last.

I was up at 7AM. Sleep had come to me in dotted bursts; woke at midnight, 3AM, and 5AM. I wanted to get away as soon as possible. Sitting in my bed, looking at my room - tidy for once - was so surreal. It didn't look like it was _mine_ anymore. All the posters were still there, everything that belonged to me was there…but it looked more like Joel's room than mine. Being able to see the floor was nice. But not enough.

Having a shower made me feel no better, and neither did changing. Even looking at myself - blue Iron Maiden T-shirt, black jeans, white high-tops - didn't spark any change or sudden epiphanies that I wanted to be in Pallet Town. Flame and Ace sat quietly, waiting for me. They seemed to understand, and even let me return them to their Poké Balls.

Birds chirruped outside - but they weren't birds to me any longer, they were Pidgey and Spearow and Pidgeotto, they would be caught by some young trainer and used in battle, then never used again rather than flying free like they deserved. They used to be just birds. But now they were liberty and freedom, and I was part of the force that took it away from them.

_I will never do that to my guys._

The sky was a sweet-coloured lilac mixed in with blues and oranges. Kanto had always been famous for its sunsets and sunrises, especially at the southern city of Vermilion, where the view was spectacular. I ignored it for now and slowly treaded downstairs, a piece of paper and pen in my hand. I had to leave, _right fucking now,_ otherwise I never would.

_Dear whoever reads this first,_

_Yeah, I did it. I left. I've got my phone with me, so you'll know where I am. I'm doing this because I want to, not because you kept telling me as a kid I would do it the minute I got a Pokémon of my own. You were right. I'm raising my guys with the best care they'll ever get. Once my first guy gets to his final evolution, which won't be too long, I'm hoping…I'll fly back home and visit. Promise. _

_Eddie, I'm really sorry for doing this so suddenly. I know you didn't want me to go._

_Zack, you know how you wanted me to catch a dragon? I'm holding you to it, buddy._

_Mum and Dad, thanks for the advice last night. I'm definitely crazy. Call the Professor if you want to know anything. But I don't think you understand what I'm wanting to achieve, though._

_I don't really know, either._

_- Darrell._

Simple. But before I could let myself succumb to crying, I was out of the door.

* * *

There was no point attempting to brave Viridian Forest so early in the morning. It had barely gone quarter to eight and it was still too dark to see anything in the trees. I had no clue who or what could be lurking in the bushes, and I wasn't risking my Pokémon leading the way either. Until it was light enough, I would just have to train.

"We've got a long way to go," I told my Pokémon as they played about in the grass together, half-hunting for any foes. I thought they were still too young too battle for themselves just yet, but the time would be soon. They both looked at me, ears pricked up with awareness. "The first Gym is in the next city, and it's a Rock-type. And I want you to learn an actual Fire attack today, Flame."

A Pidgey had crept up behind my Charmander, and he noticed it quicker than a lightning strike. Ace rushed behind me - I began to understand that he wasn't scared; he was letting Flame take control. I picked him up so he could watch and build up the experience for himself. I bit my lip, remembering what I had thought about the birds earlier.

_Oh well. I won't let him kill it._

"Go get it, boy," I nodded to Flame. Encouraging my Pokémon actually made me feel a little better.

"Charrr," he growled, trying to sound intimidating, but the Pidgey was larger than usual and appeared to be completely unfazed by my little reptile. This thing meant business, it seemed. Ace was literally buzzing with excitement, miniscule sparks erupting from his cheeks. Before I could make a move, the Pidgey slammed itself right into him, pecking at his body endlessly, and Ace yelped.

"Fucking hell! Scratch it, Flame! You can do it!"

He recovered himself quickly - I tried not to look at the gash on his side - and lunged at the Pidgey, his eyes glistening with ferocity and pain. He evaded the attacks well, receiving only a little damage, and after a few scratches, he stood back from the advancing Pidgey, eyes flashed bright red, wide open and an enormous blast of fire erupted from his mouth. The Pidgey squawked unpleasantly and flew away into the fading lilac sky.

"Pika-pika-chu!"

"Nice one, little dude!"

Flame was a quick learner.

* * *

I hadn't battled a trainer properly before, and I wasn't looking forward to the experience. Flame had advanced a level or two, around level 11, and Ace had caught up to him after he electrified who knew how many of the birds. Viridian Forest had lightened up a little - and honestly, my mood had as well.

But my stomach wouldn't stop rumbling. I had left without breakfast.

Fuck, did I miss my mother's baking.

But that was just how life was going to have to be now. I would have to take what I could get, stop staying up so late, and learn what this whole journey was all about. I thought of the cities I would visit, and how advanced lots of other trainers were. I had a long way to go. Longer than I thought it had been.

A young bug catcher in the forest asked to battle me and I took it. Flame won easily, having the obvious advantage, and he showed up all the rest of the youngsters that tried to beat him - Ace didn't have much chance over the bugs, except for any Butterfree or Beedrill that came our way. Both of them were on a roll, bounding on ahead of me, and I was walking along, not really focused on anything at all, thinking of Joel, Eddie, my parents, that girl I used to date years back, what would I do that night-"Hey! You!"

A voice snapped me from my thoughts - _no one disturbs me and lives, asshole - _and I stopped walking, turning around to find myself face-to-face with a rather irritated-looking Gary. My mood immediately spiralled back downwards, even when Ace came rushing back to me, curious to know why I wasn't following him. He held two berries in his paws and nibbled on them nervously. _The little dude knows him._

"Haven't got very far, have you?"

"You're best leaving me alone."

"Nice Pikachu you have there."

I didn't even comprehend what he was saying to me. He had to be nuts. Absolutely. No way about it. Either he was winding me up, or he genuinely wanted Ace. Well. There was no way he was getting his grubby hands on _my_ Ace, and I pitied any unlucky Pikachu that he managed to catch. _Please, Gary, never catch another Pokémon._

He had spoken again, but I didn't listen or care.

"_Forget _it, man. Leave me alone. You're crazy."

"Shut up, fucker! Go, Wartortle!" He threw out a Poké Ball and a fair-sized, dark blue turtle popped out, looking much fiercer than the Squirtle I had known before. Fucking hell, he had evolved fast. I had to give it to Gary - he was good at raising Pokémon. Just maybe not in the right way. Let me take that statement back - if there was a bad trainer in the world, he was standing before me.

First he wanted Flame, and now it seemed like he wanted Ace.

He meant it.

Shit just got real.

"Let's go for it, then!" I knew that Flame would have no chance against the Wartortle, having the disadvantage, while Ace was clearly superior even when he lacked in level. "Thunder Wave it!"

"Bite!"

The attack landed on Ace's tail. Even when paralyzed, that thing was _good._

"Thundershock!"

"Pika-_chuuuu!" _he cried out, the sparks exploding from his red cheeks, shocking the Wartortle severely. I realised he had a small puncture wound from the bite but I couldn't do anything about it. Without me even commanding him to do so, he zapped the Wartortle after it bit him again, both of their last moves. After the turtle was down, I recalled him. Gary's face was ready to explode with anger but he was silent when he threw out his next Pokémon, a Spearow. Ace would have had the advantage again, but it was Flame's turn, and I wanted to use his brand new move.

"Ember, Flame!"

"Peck!"

Flashbacks of the oversized Pidgey attacking Flame rushed back to me, much more gory and graphic than they really had been, but I dismissed them with a cry and waving at my face. I must have looked crazy. I blamed it on bees. Focused on the battle.

"Not a very good trainer, are you?"

"_Shut up-"_

An enormous pain hit me square in the jaw and I landed on the grass. The fucker had punched me in the face. _He punched me. In the face. Gary punched me in the face. _I was hurt mentally more than physically, and _God_ did it hurt like a bitch - a stinging, sharp pain like a knife. I didn't even know what I had done to piss him off that much. I cradled my jaw, groaning in pain, hoping nobody had witnessed his little assault. A metallic flood filled my mouth, my tongue soaked with blood, and I could see Flame staring at me, waiting for a command; he'd knocked out the Spearow by himself.

_I think I'm going to pass out. Sweet Jesus._

"Cha-aar?"

"C-Come back, Flame," I managed to croak, before spitting out blood - and probably chunks of flesh. He was sucked back into his ball quickly and I lay there stupidly, holding my jaw and bent over in pain, groaning awkwardly. I needed to get to a Pokémon Center, or to my mother, or to anyone in the world that wasn't Gary Oak _dear god get me out of here-_

"Let me tell you this, _Darrell,"_ he spat my name with such scorn like it was some deathly offensive swear word, towering above me. I was terrified more than anything he was going to stomp on me. I had a disgusting phobia of broken bones. "I don't know why the fuck my granddad gave you that Pokémon, but it isn't going to continue for any longer. You're not a real fucking trainer, and you never will be. You either give me both your Pokémon right now and leave quietly, or I beat the shit out of you and take your Pokémon."

What a charming person.

He must have been a hit with the ladies.

I spat out the remainder of the blood and coughed, looking at the grass, wondering what to say. There was no way I was giving up Flame and Ace. No absolute fucking way on this Earth. It was either give them up or have the shit kicked out of me. Whatever I did, all of us were going to get hurt. I sighed, and looked up at him, eyes narrowing, and trying to speak with as much hatred, anger, resentment and disgust as possible.

_You are not afraid of this fucker. You are Darrell and you are not afraid._

"Suck my fucking dick, Gary Oak."

* * *

I didn't know how I got out of that situation alive.

He didn't break every bone in my body, or take my Pokémon, or even say anything. He just spat at me, punched me again in the same spot and walked away furiously. There must have been more anger and meaning in my voice than even I heard, but it wasn't worth thinking about. All I thought was wondering what Joel would say when he heard about it. It wasn't like I was going to forget soon enough.

I made it to Pewter City Pokémon Center after about ten minutes of extreme pain and worried by-passers asking me if I was alright, and did I need any assistance. When I pushed myself through the doors, everything turned into a dramatic movie moment and every ounce of pain suddenly rushed to me at once, overwhelming me.

I looked a sight. Mud coated my T-shirt from falling back after the punch. My hair was always a mess but now it had grass and mud in it, and it had also started raining, just to add to my brilliant day. My clothes were drenched, and I was freezing. It was a burning, fiery Hell pit of pain, making me sweat and shiver, stabbing and aching and stinging, and it was difficult not to scream out.

"H-Help…"

"Oh, my word!" The nurse behind the counter was quick to rush to me before I collapsed, and called for her Chansey to come and assist her. I was lifted onto a stretcher of some sort and took in the blinding white, and she led the Chansey through to a little room with a small bed in it and nothing else. She rummaged around in my bag for fresh clothes and came up with a white T-shirt and shorts. It was difficult to change, not to mention embarrassing - but she was kind and didn't say anything.

"I'll put these in the wash in a moment. But first, I want you to tell me what happened, and who you are. My name is Nurse Joy, by the way."

"Darrell R-Redford," I coughed, and felt my eyes brim up with tears. I always hated being fussed over like this, the kind of thing parents did when you'd been sick in the night. "I…I was in V-Viridian Forest…trainin' up my P-Pokémon….then…this g-guy I kinda know asks t-to b-battle, b-but he was…c-crazy…he l-lost, and t-then he p-punched me in the f-f-face…really h-hard…"

"It looks broken," she said sadly, but she smiled bravely for me. "But nothing that can't be fixed! How long have you been out with Pokémon, Darrell?"

"Since today…I wanted to b-beat the Gym Leader…"

"That'll have to wait for a few days. You only started today and you were punched for losing a battle? Do you know who it was?"

I was hesitant for a few moments. There was no doubt in my mind that Joy would have known who Gary was, there was no way he didn't just wander Pallet Town and Viridian City. He'd been all over the region, most likely. But if telling Joy meant that Gary would have been caught, then so be it. I was a sadistic bastard, but fuck that. He deserved it.

"…Gary Oak."


	6. Death Rattle

"Unnh…"

Something was working in my mouth, and I couldn't really tell if it was painful or not. Kind of dormant, at the back of my mind. I was drifting in and out of consciousness, surrounded by a calming sepia warmth. The memories of being punched were slowly fading, and the bird attack on Flame was long gone.

It felt like floating.

I had close to no recollection of what happened after I told Joy who had hit me. Inside, I felt like a baby; a stupid, helpless kid that couldn't defend himself. My mind was laughing at me, but my heart was saying something different: _He hurt you and you needed help. You did the right thing. You did the right thing…_

The warmth was pulled up around me and I shivered. A soft hand on my forehead stroked away any stray curls, comfort enveloped me and sleep arrived again.

* * *

I woke up to absorb the bright white of the ceiling again. Every bone in my body felt heavy but I had the motivation to get up and run until I collapsed. I turned my aching head - that kind you can feel all over, starting at the back of your mouth - to see Joy placing a bundle of blue and black on the table, then bringing me a plate. I tried to sit up, but she wouldn't let me.

"We put you under anaesthesia, and had a look at your jaw. You've been out for about two hours now. It's broken, but you'll be fine if you eat this."

So a magical food had sprung up suddenly and by consuming it, Darrell would indeed, become dandy.

Well, why not.

She propped me up gently and I tried working with my mouth. It was quite difficult to move, felt stiff, and my irrational phobia returned to me in a panic - _oh my god if i move it and it pops out of place and breaks oh dear GOD - _but I calmed myself down as soon as it began. On the plate was a strange-looking egg - it looked fried, but the yolk wasn't yellow. It was a glowing pink, the very centre a nebula of colour.

"It's an egg from my Chansey. They're nutritious and tasty, and they have a special ability to immediately fix any injury."

_Well. _I'd never heard about that before. I was sold. She helped me carefully eat the egg, it was difficult for me to open my mouth and chew, but when I swallowed the first forkful, the power began working within me. The only thing I felt was like the flavours of fruit exploding inside me, surging comfort and relief through my body. I felt my jaw knit itself back together, it was a fucking _dream _and I couldn't stop smiling - no matter how much the memory of the battle hurt me.

"Oh wow!"

"I've washed your clothes, and your Pokémon are healed. You might be able to battle the Gym Leader, after all!"

I thanked her about a thousand more times but she smiled at me, insisting it was nothing. I was grinning all while throwing myself back into my clothes, rejuvenated and re-inspired to continue on with my journey. I made a mental note not to tell my parents about the bad start I'd got off to. Worse things could have happened - Gary could have seriously hurt me, and I gave him that chance. I didn't sit and wonder why he didn't take it. I didn't care. I was still alive, still here…I still had my family, my Pokémon, and a region to conquer.

Gary Oak wasn't about to beat me - I'd have to die first.

* * *

Leaving the Pokémon Center was hard - I knew it was going to become my home away from home. I thanked Joy some more, and she bade me good luck. I strolled out of the Center happily, with Flame at my feet. The memory of the morning was fading and I was glad. I didn't want to remember it - and in a week, it wouldn't matter.

I wasn't going to do very well in a Rock-type Gym with a Fire-type and an Electric-type. Neither would any of the Flying-types I'd seen. But I wasn't too eager to catch a Caterpie, train it until it evolved, and then use it against the Leader. The other option was risk using the two I already had, and most likely be pulverized by him. I just wanted to get out of the area, and move on to bigger and better things.

"_Welcome to the juu-ngleee! We got fun and-"_

My phone was going off.

Bet it was my mother - and I was right. I reluctantly answered, wondering whether or not she'd heard about me little escapade in the forest earlier.

"Hello?" My jaw still ached a little, but the bruising had died down and only a small, green-lilac tint remained there.

"Darrell?"

Mother Dearest. Great, I was about to be subjected to a Mother Rant, on how I shouldn't have left without discussing it with her first - well, we _had _discussed it. Sort of. It still counted. I didn't want to talk to her, and if I was going to speak to anyone I wanted them to come in the shape of Joel or Eddie.

"Don't kill me, Mum, I'm in Pewter City, I'm not _far-"_

"I just had a call from the Pokémon Center there, they said you had a broken jaw! Are you alright? Why aren't you there now?"

"She _fixed_ it, Mum, didn't she tell you? I'm fine. Honestly. I can speak fine and it doesn't even hurt much anymore-"

"Darrell, we want you home right now. You're being silly, dear."

Now she had the sympathy voice on, the one that was supposed to guilt-trip me back to the insufferable clutches of Pallet Town. No fucking way.

"You mean _you_ want me home right now. Eddie wants me to be happy, and I have to go catch that dragon for Zack. Dad agreed with me, he said I've always been independent and I _have,_ Mum. Can't you let me do this? Did you even read what I'd put on that note? Look, I love you, you're my _mother_ but I have to get out of that place. There isn't anything for me there. I wasn't achieving anything at school, nothing I wanted to do in life, I've _thought_ about this. It feels like I'm supposed to be doing it. I've got it all planned out. Don't worry about me. Don't. Seriously."

I heard her talking to someone else, wondering if she had even listened to me. There were a lot of crackles and shuffles and then I heard another voice.

"Hi, Darrell!"

"Eddie!"

God love him.

"Did you seriously break your jaw? What _happened,_ bro?"

"Professor Oak's dickweed of a grandson thought I was a thief when I first met him, meaning we instantly hate each other. Shit happens. Then, he saw me again today, we battled and then he said I was a bad trainer and punched me in the face. He lost the battle, by the way. Sore loser if I ever saw one."

"What a fucker!"

I hoped he was in a different room. If we said 'crap' in front of our mother she almost had a heart attack. We continued talking, and he explained to me that he would convince Mother Dearest to leave me alone and let me do what I wanted to do. After about five minutes, the pain in my jaw began to stab a little.

"Eddie? My mouth's acting up."

"You better get moving, Mr. Big Trainer."

We bade each other excessive goodbyes as always and I was on my way with a smile on my bruised face.

* * *

The only way I was going to be able to beat the rock-hard Gym Leader, Brock, was to catch a Water Pokémon. There was a fair-sized pond on the outskirts of the city, a few people fishing around it. I walked over there with Ace, bounding along, knowing he would have the advantage to help me capture them easily. Also, he seemed to like the water, and it would be nice to have some quality time with him.

He dived right into the pond as I sat down near a young man with a mane of strawberry-blonde hair, layered like a 1980s thrash metal lover. He was fishing intently, but didn't look the part at all - long-sleeved black shirt, skinny blue jeans and white high-tops like my own. Ace was splashing about and the _dude_ didn't appear to notice until Ace splashed a bit too much and water soaked both of us.

"Whoa! You're having fun, little man!" I cried out, half-laughing and shielding myself. The guy was laughing - _thank God - _and he looked at me. He had quite an angular face and lips in a pout. He actually looked like a nice guy - I'd been avoiding trainers on my way to the pond, with the slight fear they would attack me like Gary had done, even when I tried to push the thoughts away.

"He's yours?" he asked me, reeling in his line that turned out to be empty. His accent was different than mine but I couldn't pinpoint it. A sunny, vibrant accent that reminded me of coastal towns and the seaside and sunshine. "He's a cool little dude. I've been trying to catch a Water Pokémon for _ages."_

"You haven't beat Brock yet?"

"Nope, and I want a Water one to help. He'll be my third badge. I've been doing everything in reverse order. I'm from Vermilion."

"I'm from Pallet down the south and I hate it there. I left today. _So_ glad. Don't go there."

"I'll make sure of that. And you've nailed yourself a Pikachu already?" he grinned. "Respect, man. I'm Dave."

Dave outstretched his hand for mine and I shook it, smiling at him. "I'm Darrell."

We spoke for God knew how long, mostly about music when he realised I was wearing a Maiden T-shirt. Underneath his jumper, he was wearing the same one. The conversation turned to Pokémon a few times, and then after we exchanged phone numbers, we were both silent for a good few moments. Ace was occasionally dipping into the water, quite happy with his swimming.

"Caught anything at all, man?" I questioned him.

"Not a thing. One of my books says that there should be Pokémon like Poliwag here, but if I catch another Magikarp, I'll cut a bitch."

"A Gyarados would be completely worth it, though. I wouldn't mind one."

"Yeah, good point. But it's just training the thing up until it evolves…ugh. It's awful."

I gave him a look. Dave either had a Gyarados, or he just knew from a friend, or I was just being stupid. I was beginning to want to see what Pokémon he owned, especially if he had the power to beat Lt. Surge first. I let out Flame, and Dave jumped in surprise, then grinned at me.

"Feisty little dude, isn't he?"

"Loyal as anything, and I haven't even had him that long. His name's Flame."

"I should show you mine, shouldn't I?"

He let me hold the fishing rod while he fumbled about in his bag for Poké Balls - I sent a telepathic thank-you message to Joel, bless him - and brought out two. With a smile, he opened up the first one and in a bright flash, standing before me was a Jolteon, alert and expecting a battle, but calmed once it realised there was nothing to battle. My little Ace, curious as he had been when I first met him, was immediately enthralled by this new creature, and examined him by sniffing.

"That's Jett. He was my first. He's lightning-fast and a bit temperamental, but he beat Misty down all by himself," Dave explained, and at the mention of Misty, Jett turned and pounced into Dave's lap, staring at Ace curiously. "He's really protective, once you earn his trust."

He then released his second Pokémon, and both of mine ran to hide behind me. The Pokémon was a Haunter, and Dave simply laughed. I'd always been wary of Ghost Pokémon, but I was sure I had just been proven wrong. Dave wasn't scared, and there was no point of being scared. I reassured Flame and Ace, and they both nervously looked at it. The fishing rod in my hand tugged a little, and I absently pulled it back.

"That's Shadow. He won't hurt you, I promise," Dave laughed, noticing my Pokémon's expressions. "He's harmless…until you get him into battle! He won against Lt. Surge easily. I don't know if he'll be much cop against Brock."

I smiled at him, beginning to feel more comfortable with Shadow inspecting me carefully, looking at me and circling me. "He should be. Moves like Earthquake won't have any effect on him, and you can just confuse them."

Dave didn't have a chance to speak, for the rod in my hand tugged so hard that it pulled me right down, almost into the water, and he jumped up. Fear instantly tied my stomach back in knots and I couldn't help but cry out in frustration. Dave took the rod and pulled on it with what looked like all of his might, and I gathered myself together.

Remind me to go to the gym and work out.

Then remind me to go to the Gym and beat Brock.

"If this is a goddamn Magikarp, I swear to-"

Dave didn't need to confirm his statement - he was right. The Pokémon that had almost pulled me head-first into water had been a Magikarp. He burst out laughing, and I couldn't help but join him. The Magikarp was splashing about in the water, getting closer and closer to us.

"Should I catch it?" I asked Dave, standing beside him and looking at the helpless Pokémon. Was the awful training really worth the later Gyarados? I quickly weighed up all the pros and cons in my head. Sure, the training would be a complete nightmare but the result was a powerful Pokémon that would make a good addition to my team. And I had Dave, so we could simply battle a day away and train Magikarp up. Maybe even get it done today - it had just gone quarter past 1; Dave's Pokémon had to be much stronger than mine; I had gained extra freedom from leaving.

Yeah.

Magikarp was worth a Gyarados.

"Alright, Ace, you know what to do!"

Dave looked at me - but it wasn't condescending, he looked amazed. "You're going to catch it?"

"I want a goddamn Gyarados. And we need to battle, you know the stupid rule. Eye contact equals battle."

"Not necessarily. But alright, only because you _are_ my friend."

I chucked a Poké Ball at the Magikarp and quickly gathered it up from the water, holding it shut tight. I wasn't exactly expecting it to break out - even though it seemed stronger than normal. Oh well.

"You're crazy, Darrell."

"I know. But you'll never guess what happened to me earlier today…"


	7. We'll Grind That Ax For A Long Time

"That fucker! That absolute fucking bastard! I've _always_ hated him, but that is just _too_ far!"

So Dave wasn't really the founding member of the Gary Oak Fan Club.

"I suppose so," I shrugged, calling Flame back. We'd been battling playfully, not really serious about it, but Flame and Ace were happy about it. The Magikarp, which I had still yet to name without the use of profanity, had yet to battle but I really didn't want to use it. The stupid thing probably only knew how to splash around and that wasn't going to help me.

"I can't believe that," Dave said again, stroking Jett as both of us sat down on the grass. "I can't believe it! You _are_ alright, though, yeah? I'll kill him the next time I see him! We've always had a rivalry, he used to hang about in Vermilion all the time, and he'd start causing shit like the arrogant fuck he is. I always tried to stop him, he was such a fucking tool-"

"Still is."

"Exactly!"

"What should I name this thing, man?" I quickly steered the subject away from Gary. Like hell did I want to talk about that fucker. "I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl."

"Check the barbels. The male has tan ones, the female has white. And the male is just generally bigger, I think."

I released the Magikarp from its ball and held it down, looking at the barbels. They were tan.

"We have a boy."

Dave had his bag open and was flipping through a small blue book, with Jett staring at it with curious eyes. He was murmuring to himself, then looked at me. "They learn Tackle when they reach level 15, apparently. So you aren't completely screwed. Your best bet would be to bait and switch. The method is painstakingly awful but it works."

"You mean send it out to battle then change to another? Sounds fine."

He kept on flipping through the book, and then stopped at a page near the end. "There's a glossary here of Pokémon words…mostly Water-type related stuff…Hydro Pump…more irrelevant…hey! Why don't you call him Storm?"

"It works," I shrugged, looking down at Storm's Poké Ball in my hand. "Welcome to the family, boy."

Dave put his book back into his bag, and sent out Shadow. I sent out my newly-named Magikarp, and hoped Dave's method would work.

* * *

"When the honest _hell_ does this thing evolve?"

"Level 20. If you had a Pokédex, you'd be able to see their exact level and how much they need to grow to the next…"

A lightbulb might as well have appeared above my head: I had completely forgotten that Professor Oak had given me a Pokédex. It was in my bag somewhere. I spent the next five minutes inspecting my Pokémon and their levels, and I had been right with a lot of my guesses. Flame was level 13 - he'd be evolving soon - Ace was level 12, and Storm was level 6. Dave was lacking in the Pokédex department, and he desperately needed organisation.

"How did you get one?"

"A gift from the dear old Professor."

I had been sure that Storm was well below level 10 when I first caught him, but Shadow and Jett were tough Pokémon, somewhere in the early level 20s. Dave relied totally on random guesses, and the need to get a Pokédex was growing stronger. Despite what people might have believed, I actually did love being an organised person and I was also the kind of person who would catch the same Pokémon twice without any sort of list of what I already had. Thank God for that invention. Dave wanted one, and I was going to help him get it.

Although, I wasn't someone who aspired to catch _every_ Pokémon. No way. I'd thought about the whole aspect of it and at the very least, I wanted four on my team. Dave had a high chance of conquering the Elite Four with just Shadow and Jett. I already had three. A Fire-type, Electric-type, and a Water-type.

"I think you just ask for one," I told him, not adding that I didn't actually ask for anything I was holding in my hands - or anything that was standing at my legs, wanting to battle. "They might cost money."

"Shit. How much money?"

"Couldn't tell you, mate."

"Double shit."

I sighed.

"I guess knowing what level your Pokémon are at is just something you pick up, man," Dave countered back, giving me a one-armed hug. "It's like an intuition. Did your mum ever say that? 'Mother's intuition'. It's like that. But I want one, because I'm very unorganised. As you can see."

"I'll help you out, definitely!"

"Thanks, mate."

He grinned at me, and then spoke again. "Where are you headed, Darrell? Overall? Are you going for the badges or what?"

"…well, I planned on just travelling. Seeing where the road took me. And get the badges if the chance comes up. But if I had to give you one, then…yeah, it's probably that."

He looked nervous; _blushing,_ almost, and I raised an eyebrow.

"Well…would you mind if I, like…tagged along? Travelled with you, I mean?"

I looked at him. He was smiling. My heart began to pound. At school, I didn't even have that many friends, and it just became even worse when Joel moved to Lavender Town, leaving me alone. People liked to ask me about him but they didn't actually care about Joel. They just wanted the satisfaction of knowing every fucking thing that went on in everyone's lives.

Most people I talked to were just class acquaintances.

Most of them were all fucking idiots.

But Dave was different. We weren't in school anymore, and in the space of a few hours, I already considered him my second closest friend. He was offering to travel with me, all the way around Kanto. He was offering to put up with my bullshit. He was offering to potentially risk his life - trainers and Pokémon could die out on their journeys. It wasn't unheard of. And there was no way I was going to go through this alone. I needed someone. I needed Dave, whether I knew it or not.

"Hell yeah! Of course I don't mind. I _want_ you to come. I thought that went without saying!"

We hit each other high fives, and a rush of determination and confidence surged through my body, my heart, my lungs. We grinned at each other goofily for a few moments, and then he looked back down at his bag, still with an enormous smile on his face. He said nothing, but we both sent out Pokémon. Storm against Shadow, ready for the method once more.

* * *

"Tell me again what the plan is?"

Dave had a notebook in his lap, concentrating hard on our plan. His spare notebook was now dedicated to our plan of travelling through Kanto. Another was a diary and I bought one from the local Mart after a few battles. I sneaked a peek at his plan-of-action book and was honestly astonished at how neat his writing was. The pages were blank and none of his lines were slanted, and he'd even drawn a map of Kanto at the start of the book, naming the cities and some of the main routes. My eye strayed towards Lavender Town. It didn't look _that_ far away.

"Okay. Easy. We get the Boulder Badge from here - Pewter City - and then head eastward towards Mount Moon. Going through Mount Moon takes you to Route 4, which leads to Cerulean City…we get the Cascade Badge from there, and then go south to Vermilion. But the alternative is this from Cerulean City: we go eastward again and go through Rock Tunnel, which takes you straight to Lavender Town. You can only get there if one of your Pokémon has a certain technique, though. That's the plan. Sound alright, bro?"

"Sounds fucking boss."

"I want a Machop," Dave declared, shutting the book and looking up at me, Jett circling him protectively. "I think they might live in Mount Moon. I really fancy a Fighting Pokémon, you know?"

A Haunter, a Jolteon, and a Machop. Dave just had it planned out. He frantically opened the book again and on the inside cover, wrote down his team and then mine.

"This'll help me keep track. Of what types I can think about catching. Ghost, Fighting, Electric…what other could I use?"

I shrugged again - this was quickly becoming a Darrell trait - and thought of the most obscure type I could. "Not a fucking clue…Ice? Dragon? I don't know."

"Dragon! That's a good one!"

"They're really rare," I told him, bending down and petting Jett on the head. He'd started trusting me some more, and I welcomed him gently. Dave had been right. Jett really was protective once you gained his trust. Ace was relaxing nearby, not wanting to miss out on the sun; Flame and Storm were currently in my pocket. Technology astounded me. "I read that you can catch Dratini at the Safari Zone."

"That's in Fuchsia City. We're about an entire sea away."

"Then, we waste no time!" I declared, jumping up. "Let's get our badges and get outta here!"

The confidence just wasn't going away - but hey, I wasn't going to complain, was I?

"Alright then, dude!"

This was going to be fun.


	8. Uplift

If this journey had been documented as a movie, the situation would have been as follows: loud, cheesy marching music playing with scenes of Dave and I laughing about something, and being all determined and shit. Both of us were that happy. But soon we would have to come out of Movie Land and find our way back to the boring Pewter City that I was so desperate to get out of. Pewter by name, and fucking stone cold by nature.

The most fun I'd had in the hour we'd been training up our Pokémon was that I'd changed my ringtone. And I had no calls. God, I was popular.

"_DO YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME, YOU BETTER WAKE UP 'CAUSE YOU KNOW THAT'S A LIEEEE-"_

"Who the hell is blasting Damageplan?"

"My phone is."

Ah, had to love Dave.

And even better, Joel was calling me. I answered the call and beckoned Dave over, with Jett following. I hadn't spoken to Joel since our little outing to Celadon and I was aching to hang out with my best ever friend again.

"I bet I know what your ringtone is, Darrell Redford. It's Damageplan, isn't it?"

"You know me so well."

"That's what I thought. I was listening to them earlier in commemoration of our friendship seeing as you have left to travel around Kanto and I am stuck here with God and his depressed-as-shit little pals. Where are you now?"

"In Pewter City. Hey, listen, Joel! I met this dude, and he's fucking badass."

I put Joel on speaker and Dave stood opposite me, listening intently.

"Oh, excellent. So when you guys get to Lavender, will we, indeed, be the Three Musketeers?"

"Absolutely. By the way, his name is Dave, and he's from Vermilion City."

"Yeah, I am!"

"That's fabulous. What's it like there? I've only ever seen it on the TV adverts, because I live in a shitty town by the name of Lavender. I _do_ like lavender, though, helps me sleep!"

"It's not what the TV people show it as," Dave told Joel, who even through the phone, we could tell was listening intently. That was the best thing about Joel. He would joke around all the time, and was always fizzing with energy, but he _listened_ to you and was always actually interested. "It's actually a bit shit. The area around the Gym and the harbour is nice, but the rest of it is kind of…_bleh_."

"Beautiful description. It tears at my very heartstrings and enables me to see the true beauty within the heart of Vermilion City…well, sounds better than Lavender Town! I got forced to go to a fucking _service _today. When the hell are you guys coming to see me?"

"The minute we get to Lavender Town," Dave laughed.

"Oh, Dave, I never told you about Rock Tunnel! And I never even introduced myself! You might already know, but I'm Joel. Darrell is this spoon I hang about with, but he's a cool cat. You make sure he doesn't get into any mischief, okay?"

"Will do!"

"Thanks, bro!"

"Shut up!" I laughed, pretending to punch Dave on the arm - Gary's little attack on me had made me much more compassionate and empathetic. Even pretending to hurt someone made me feel a bit guilty, but Dave assuaged me by just doing it back and laughing.

"Oh my God," Joel sighed. He was changing the subject. Something was grinding his gears. "Guess what. I'm supposed to be spending the day - the entire damn day! - with my family in Cerulean City. I may have to kill myself by any means available. Do assist me."

Dave shot me a look.

"Wait a minute," I interrupted his suicide note. "Cerulean City? That's not far from us! That's only a town away! We should meet up, dude!"

"Fuckin' _please,"_ Joel begged. "Seriously, they're absolutely dire. I'll feel bad about leaving them, because I do love my grandparents, but if we leave now I can talk to them about stuff and get about an hour of their time. That's enough. When will you guys be here?"

"Uh…"

Shit. Dave and I had a lot to do. We had to finish training up Storm so he would evolve and hopefully learn a Water attack, then we had to get past Mount Moon and probably a ton of trainers. Dave had to catch his Machop, if they even lived in Mount Moon. That would probably eat up a few hours at the most. And there was no way in hell I was going to pass up a chance of seeing Joel, when the next opportunity might not come for a long time.

"I don't know. We have a bit of stuff to do. Like beat Brock," Dave said, biting his lip. I thought that Dave had the impression Joel would get frustrated, but he wasn't that kind of guy. He almost never lost his cool.

"Ahh. That's what I thought. And you have Mount Moon to get through, don't you? Tell you what. Take as much time as you need. I'm eavesdropping on parental conversation and it appears we're spending the night there, too."

Dave showed me his watch. 2:15PM.

"We'll be there by three."

We had forty-five minutes to get to Cerulean City.

Not a problem.

* * *

Dave and I battled with Storm and Shadow until we were all too sick of battling. We had sat down together, releasing all of our Pokémon and watching them play with each other. Shadow amused me most of all. He was supposed to be scary, and terrify other Pokémon, but he was _laughing_. Flame and Ace weren't as intimidated as they had been. A rush of love for my team, and Dave's, coursed through me and I showed it just by smiling.

Storm, however, stopped flailing about and was completely motionless. Dave nudged me, and I got up, beginning to feel concerned, maybe he was exhausted - then he let out a weak moan, and began to glow white. Flame backed away, as did Ace, too nervous to go near Storm. I jumped up and ran to my Pokémon, but was quick to follow Flame and Ace's actions. Shadow and Jett hadn't even appeared to notice. Storm was changing form. He was evolving.

Fuck yes, I had a Gyarados.

"Well, he evolved fast," Dave shrugged. I looked at him, aghast. How the hell didn't he panic when this had happened to him?

_Because Dave's not an idiot._

I looked back at Storm. He had stopped glowing. I had stopped breathing. Now he had to be at least twenty feet tall, towering above all of us. I gazed up in admiration. The angry-looking Gyarados stared down at me. This thing was _mine._ This badass motherfucking monster, this legendary beast of a Pokémon, was mine. And if it didn't learn some Water moves, back into the river it would go. I saw a few fishers staring at me and I just had to laugh.

"Let's go kick some ass!"

We may as well have linked arms and started skipping.


	9. It Makes Them Disappear

Dave and I ran like lightning to the Pewter City Gym, and dominated the first trainer that we came across. We had forty-five minutes to get to Cerulean City in time for Joel and I wanted to spend as much time as possible with my best friend. It was unlikely he would join us on our adventure through Kanto, much to my dismay. I'd been missing Joel ever since he moved away, and having him with us would have been hilarious.

At the end of the large room designed to look like a cave, was Brock. The toughest guy in Pewter City. There weren't many serious trainers in Pewter by the looks of it and I had had enough of the boring-ass place.

"Hey!" The Brock called to us. Dave backed away. It looked like I was going first. Okay. Deep breaths. I could do this. "I'm Brock, and I believe in rock hard defence and determination! That's why my Pokémon are all the Rock type! Still want to challenge me?"

"I'm Darrell. Nice to meet you. Let's go, man," I said, holding Storm's Poké Ball in my hand.

"Fine then! Show me your best! Go for it, Geodude!"

I had to admit. The guy sounded brainwashed, but damn, he seemed like a good trainer. Not many people had his ferocity and passion. I looked back at Dave, who gave me a nod for good luck. Yeah, like that was going to help me now. Had to appreciate him, though.

"Let's go, Storm!"

My monster of a Pokémon roared loudly and I felt a new found pride wash over me, and grinned. Brock seemed unfazed, and laughed heartily. He was impressed, but not enough to let me win. I commanded Storm to Bite the thing, hoping that it would maybe do some damage - but that Geodude knew a few good moves and was beginning to overpower him.

"Fuck," I murmured. My heart began to tug. I wasn't winning this. I couldn't let Storm faint, not now. "Storm! Tackle, with all you've got!"

He heard me, but he didn't obey. He raised up as far as he could go, and all of a sudden, a huge burst of water exploded from his mouth, blasting into the Geodude and smacking it against the wall. "Holy hell!" I heard Dave cry out. Storm had learnt Water Gun.

"_Yeaaaah!"_ I couldn't help but cheer as Geodude was returned to its Poké Ball.

"Well done, Darrell. But you haven't won the battle yet!" he grinned, and threw out another Pokémon. A huge snake-like creature made of rocks, about the same height as Storm, now stood in front of Brock. I'd seen these on the TV. An Onix.

"You know it, Storm!"

He launched out another Water Gun or two, and Onix's last attack managed to bring my beast down. Storm's eyes shut tightly in pain and as he fell, I reached up with both arms and caught his head, cradling him. Dave was smiling. I looked at him.

Shit. I'd won the battle. I'd won the goddamn battle!

"Fuck yeah!" I cried out, but didn't let go of Storm. He needed taking care of. I stroked his head, and for such a ferocious beast, it surprised me that he let me do it. I returned him to his ball and Brock was _still_ grinning, holding out a small, shining, brown badge.

"This is the Boulder Badge - and you rightfully earned it, Darrell."

Now I was the one that couldn't stop smiling. I genuinely couldn't take the grin off my face. I must have looked like an idiot as I took the badge from him and pinned it on, the wave of pride washing over me once again. I wanted to dance and jump for joy. Man, was I happy. The first time I'd ever fought a Gym Leader, and _won!_

"Thanks, man!" I grinned, shaking his hand.

"It was fun battling you," Brock replied. "You're different from other challengers I've seen. Much stronger and much more passionate. I suggest you go to Cerulean City and test your abilities there. You're tough enough to get there."

Dave stepped forward, Poké Ball in hand. "I don't mean to break this up," he said innocently, a sweet smile forming. "but it's my turn."

* * *

With Boulder Badges pinned to our identical Iron Maiden shirts, and our Pokémon out of their balls, the sun shining, the afternoon was happy. In fact I was so happy that I literally jumped and skipped, and then took a break to phone Joel as we entered the next route.

"Ahoy-hoy!"

"It's _Daaaa-relll!"_ I sang loudly and deliberately off-key. "Guess what!"

"Darrell! Are you in Cerulean yet, is that what? Oh, wait, you can't be, because I'd hear you from the other side of the city. No, what is it, my boy?"

"I beat Brock! I have my first badge!"

"Fuck _yeah!"_ Joel cried happily. "Damn, I'm proud of you! Hey, man, listen. I've been sitting here with my parental units all day, and I am so _bored. _Can I come and meet you? You know, I'll go to Mount Moon, and you go to Mount Moon, and we'll meet like, halfway or something. I could do with a walk."

Joel had no Pokémon and there were bound to be Pokémon on the way to Mount Moon, and it was guaranteed they would be in the cave too. I bit my lip. That had to be even just a little dangerous. But then I talked myself out of that mindset: Joel was a smart, tough guy. He could easily overpower a Pokémon. Unless a whole swarm of Geodude decided to attack him.

"Yeah, fine," I replied after a few moments of frantic thought. "Go into the entrance from your side and hang about there, we'll meet you there."

After a little more talk - in which he added new jokes to his repertoire and tested them on us - he hung up and we were on our way to Mount Moon. Dave and I ate a late lunch, and while I was busy eating a roll as we walked onward, it was difficult to chew and swallow. There was a horrible, aching knot tying itself up tight in my stomach, out of fear.

* * *

There were, unfortunately, many young trainers on the route to Mount Moon. Dave and I took turns battling them, and eventually they began avoiding us after witnessing a few battles. I didn't really care. Storm didn't need any more training for now, and he was the highest levelled dude on the team. Judging from Flame's new behaviour - much more aggressive and his tail burned brighter - he was ready to evolve. Ace wouldn't evolve until I found a Thunder Stone and I wasn't sure if I wanted a Raichu or not.

But why I was thinking about evolution now always puzzled me.

"You know," Dave began as we walked into the Pokémon Centre to heal up and rest. "There were some suspicious dudes in Mount Moon when I went through it. And I _still _didn't see a Machop!" He threw himself down on the sofa and put his feet up on the table.

"Suspicious people?" I raised an eyebrow and the knot in my stomach gripped its hold on me harder than ever. "What kind of suspicious people?"

"All dressed in black," Dave shrugged. "They looked real uneasy, always lookin' around, like something was gonna bite them from behind. They were probably from Team Rocket. God knows what they're trying to do in there. There isn't really anything rare in Mount Moon other than Clefairy. Does Joel have any Pokémon?"

I shook my head. "He likes them, though. He's just like how I was."

Dave said nothing.

"I mean," I kept going. I couldn't hide anything from Dave if I was going to be spending the rest of my journey with him. "I used to hate battling with a fucking passion. I hated how cruel it was. And yeah, I know. I've battled. But I'm trying to be careful. I can't prevent my guys fainting but I'd do everything in the damn world to stop them dying and I've seen that so many times. I don't get how people are just so _fine_ with it - they're not just lives we can throw away, you know!"

My voice had raised a little too much and there were people staring at me - but they turned away when I glared and the small chatter began again.

I sighed. Kept going. "With Flame, Ace and Storm," I sighed. "I feel different. I feel like I depend on them just as much as they depend on me. All that stuff about battling, all that hatred I felt…it just disappears. Those boys…they make it disappear."

Dave didn't look surprised or shocked: he was smiling at me, and he nodded, a pouty little grin on his angular face.

"Preach it, brother," he smiled. "I always felt the same. I felt like shit if Jett or Shadow ever fainted. Felt like it was my fault, you know? But it's what happens on every journey, Darrell. Shit happens. Deal with one problem at a time. You helped Storm out when you were fighting Brock - little things like holding them when they're weak, that builds a lot of trust and love. It's worth it, dude. That's what I believe."

Man, I loved this guy more and more with everything he said.

"Now, are we gonna meet Joel on time or what?" he flashed another wide grin.

We hit each other a high five and were on our way.


	10. The Underground In America

"Haha! Someone's hungry!"

I couldn't help it if my stomach was rumbling.

"Dave, we are intrepid explorers," I said, trying not to giggle childishly at how my voice echoed around the cave. Mount Moon was pitch black, but we had Jett and Storm to light the way. Flame walked beside me, Storm was in my pocket, and Dave let Shadow out simply because he loved the dark. Must have been natural for a Ghost type. "And we must brave everything. But hunger gets what hunger wants!"

"Not gonna lie, dude, I'm starving too. That roll only just whetted my appetite. Nah, once we get to Cerulean with Joel we'll go to a restaurant and have a _biiiig_ dinner! There's a great place there and-"

"Aw, please, Dave!" I cried, holding my stomach. "I can't take it!"

He burst out laughing, but was interrupted by Jett running up to him and making a kind of bark-like sound, jumping up to him. "What is it, boy?" We followed after the Jolteon - pretty hard to do, since it was lightning-fast. Ace and Jett were stood around a ladder, curiously wondering where it led down to. The cave was damp and dark but it had a pretty high ceiling, so there were no chances of stalactites. That would have been most unpleasant.

"Well, we have to go down," Dave shrugged. "Otherwise we'll never get out of here."

"Where's it go?"

"Underground. Down here's where I saw the suspicious people."

I stepped forward to go first. Flame jumped on my back and I made my way down the ladder, and felt Dave jump on soon afterward, Ace under one arm. It seemed to go on forever, or at least a few minutes - eventually, I felt a weight off my back and turned my head. Flame was on the ground, looking up at me.

"Flame, tell me when it's alright for me to jump - and don't tell me it's alright when I'll jump and end up breaking my neck, okay? I trust you, boy."

From above me, I saw Dave give me a thumbs-up. _The little things - like how you held Storm when he fell. That builds trust and love. _I figured telling Flame I trusted him would help him feel the same way towards me.

"Chaar!"

I jumped and landed quite safely. Flame pounced back up onto my shoulders and Dave followed down soon after with Ace. We looked up at the ladder to hear scuffling, and then Jett was standing in front of us, quite happily. Dave ruffled the Jolteon's fur and kissed him there. "Awesome, boy."

What lay beyond us was - excuse the pun - beyond me.

A huge wall of darkness, that even when Ace and Jett flashed some sparks to light it up, was still an enormous veil of black. But we had nowhere else to go other than forward, or pointlessly climb back up that ladder. I couldn't help but gulp and frantically searched for Dave's hand in the darkness. He didn't pull away.

* * *

"Oh, such a pretty boy! Obviously too stupid to not know we weren't here! Did you think you could just get through us so easily, boy?"

"What the fuck? I'm telling you, I'm only passing through-"

"Grab him!"

"_Hey!_ Let go of me! Fucking hell, let me _go! _I don't know anything about you or your stupid plans! I swear I don't know shit about it! Darrell! _Darrell, help!_ Someone please help!"

* * *

"You know," Dave began, letting Jett and Ace lead the way, Flame at my side. "There are some good Pokémon here, apparently. I want a Machop. Really want one. But I don't think they're here. The most I saw was a-"

"Shh!"

I silenced him quickly. Jett and Ace turned back to look at us, confused. I could hear small voices from a distance away, but still in the same area. Footsteps, shuffling, noises. There were other people here and I hoped they weren't trainers. I wasn't in the mood for a battle. Getting out of Mount Moon and to Joel was the only concern of mine.

"I hear voices," I whispered to him.

"I fuckin' hope not, you crazy-"

I couldn't help but snort at that and giggle into his shoulder. "But _seriously!_ There's people here!"

"Well, of course there's people here. You can't expect the entire universe and its contents to be contained within the confines of where we are standing now."

I looked down to Flame, who looked back, equally as bemused.

"You're very philosophical for this time of day, Dave."

"I've just ate a buttered roll, what do you expect?"

Then we both erupted into a fit of giggling, which seemed to go on for at least thirty seconds until a bright light blinded us - a light that didn't come from our Pokémon. I could hear Jett growling and making that barking noise. Ace stood beside him - and I admired the little guy even more. In the face of danger, he had always scrambled to run behind me.

"Who are you? Why are you here?" a voice behind the light said. It was a torch and they were shining it in our faces. I covered my eyes to try and stop the sudden ache behind my eyes.

"Sorry, man, I didn't know we weren't allowed down here! We can go where we-"

Dave let out a yelp as the figure grabbed him - which meant he lowered his torch and from Jett's glow, I could see a red "R" emblazoned across his black sweater. A knot of fear tied itself up in my stomach again. This wasn't just some youngster trying to pick a fight. This was a real guy who really wanted to hurt us. Who was hiding something, who was…one of those _suspicious_ guys Dave had been talking about.

"Let him go! We're not going to hurt you!" I said, holding my hands up a little in surrender. "We don't mean anything, we're just passing through, we're-"

"Shut up, you little rat!" With his free hand, he tried to punch me - and memories of Gary Fucking Oak flashed back and I dodged by ducking. He let Dave go, and moved closer to us. His voice became softer. More dangerous. "I'm from Team Rocket. And you little vermin aren't supposed to be here."

"_Vermin?"_ That was _it._ I couldn't help the rage and frustration that was building up inside, ready to explode, too fast for me to handle. "You're from Team Rocket, you abuse Pokémon for a living and _we're_ the vermin? You're all talk, you are, you _vermin,_ and we didn't even fucking _know you were here-"_

"Darrell!" Dave interrupted. Not angry. Concerned. Worried.

Man, was I pissed off.

The Rocket smiled. "Darrell? That's your name? Well, then. You wouldn't happen to know _this_ pretty little guy, would you?" He shone his torch in front of him to reveal a tied up figure, shouting and shrieking for help. It took me a few seconds but then the knot of fear in my stomach turned to the most red-hot, excruciating hatred and anger I had ever felt in my seventeen years of life.

"_Joel!_"I looked at the Rocket, fists clenched, teeth gritted. "What are you doing with my best fucking friend?"

"The same as what you're doing. 'Passing through'. We're conducting experiments here. Top secret experiments. Which no stupid little rat is allowed to know about, and no stupid little rat is going to stop us. He was shouting your name, as if you'd come to help him."

"_Of course I'd help him!" _I literally screamed in his face, and Dave nor Joel made no attempt to shut me up. I pounced on the Rocket, punching and kicking as hard as I could - I didn't even know if I was doing any damage. Unable to control this monster of rage that surged like a haemorrhage through my veins, electrocuted with hatred and anger. Behind me, I could barely comprehend that Dave was untying Joel and helping him out - I couldn't help but think that maybe I was the one who needed help, and not just in this fight. Anger had always been a problem.

"Come on, Darrell, let's _go!"_

* * *

"Well, you saved my ass," Joel laughed heartily. We were out of Mount Moon at last, and the sight of green grass, shimmering waters and a sun had never looked so good. I breathed in deeply to try and calm myself down. Joel laid an arm around me as we headed onward to Cerulean City.

"It must've been terrifying," Dave shrugged.

"I was damn scared, alright," Joel grinned. "But I knew they'd never get away with it! They're all idiots anyway, and…Darrell? Hey, dude, what's up?"

"What? Nothing. I'm fine."

"Like hell are you fine," Joel said. He stopped and stood in front of me, staring me dead in the face. No smiling. "I get you were pissed off. But don't let it bug you. Someone'll catch Team Rocket someday. They aren't gonna jump in our windows at night and kill us, got it? By the looks of it, you didn't even hurt that guy much. He was asking for it. Now, are we gonna head to Cerulean, or are we gonna stand here like complete idiots and be mistaken for poodles?"

I had to laugh at that, and all of my anger was immediately vanquished.


	11. I'll Cast A Shadow

_February 18th._

_First time I've wrote in this. _

_I don't really know what to say. I've never had a diary in my life._

_I guess now would be a good time to start one, though. I'm Darrell, I'm 17 and right now I'm on some crazy-ass journey with Pokémon. I've got a Charmander, a Pikachu, and a Gyarados. Flame, Ace, and Storm. I'm with a new friend, Dave. He's a great guy. Now you know who I am and who I'm with. I could go on for ages - my favourite music, and stuff like that, but none of that shit is relevant to what's happening now._

_Today's been real eventful and it's almost dinnertime. I started this journey today. Got punched in the face by Gary Fucking Oak, and ate the best egg I've ever ate in my life at a Pokémon Center. After that was when I met Dave - and Storm, who we battled with to the death until he evolved. We beat Brock, the Gym Leader of Pewter City, and I have my first badge. Then the day started to get kind of bad. We went through Mount Moon, which was alright, until we bumped into Team Rocket - and we rescued my best friend ever, Joel. He didn't seem to be shaken at all, or even affected, but I couldn't calm down for ages. Damn me._

_So we're outside now, in Cerulean City, and we're about to go to a restaurant for dinner, and then maybe either challenge Misty or go to Vermilion. I've been up since early morning but it doesn't feel that way. I've been to Cerulean City before but it feels so new. I've never really left home before, not like this. It's strange. I haven't even thought about my family much. I miss my mother's baking and I miss Eddie and Zack. I owe Zack a dragon, if I can ever find one. Dave is leaning over my shoulder and says we can get them in Fuchsia City so yeah, until then. _

_But it's only now I've realised how huge this world is - and so much for us to do, so much for us to explore. There are countless trainers out there all for the same goal: become the Champion. I think it's shallow. I want to do something different, something people will remember me, Darrell Redford, for. I want to do something different. I want to cast a shadow._

* * *

After a delightfully delicious dinner at a restaurant, we three musketeers were warm, full and happy. Being February, and about to hit 5PM, the sun was beginning to set already. We wasted no time watching the sunset - instead, we headed on up towards Route 25, with Joel in tow: he wanted to see what battling was like.

"You should catch something," Dave suggested. "And you can come with us!"

"I'd get so bored of walking around! Take a goddamn bus! I'm a very strange person when it comes to Pokémon, and I am a strange person overall. I may catch one someday and join you on your little escapades."

With that, he was Joel again.

"Well, you don't have to battle," Dave shrugged. "You could be a breeder. Raise the best Pokémon and bring out their inner strength. Or you could just collect Pokémon of a particular type. Like, you could be a fucking awesome Dragon trainer. But not like the uptight assholes you see on TV!"

"Aha! I saw those guys! So funny, oh man, did you see the one where-"

And they were off. It made me pretty damn happy for them to get on so well.

"-but yeah, dude, Dragon Pokémon are something-fucking-else. Or how about you catch a Caterpie? And never let it evolve! Then you'll defeat the Elite Four with, like, a level 100 Caterpie. I bet no one's done _that!"_ Dave exclaimed, and we all burst out laughing. It warmed my heart to feel alright again after the massive explosion of anger I'd felt before. I had to stop worrying about it. It meant nothing. Not anymore.

I found a spare Poké Ball and placed it into Joel's hand. "Level 100 Caterpie, here we come!" And they all exploded into laughter again.

We headed onwards past Nugget Bridge and took some time to admire the crystal clear water, even more beautiful thanks to the famous Cerulean sunset. I looked at my reflection. Seeing myself was so strange, like I'd forgotten what I looked like. Long, curly hair. Iron Maiden T-shirt. Nothing new - except three red Poké Balls attached to my belt.

"_Aha!"_

There was Joel, moving through the grass cautiously, like some kind of ninja, exaggerating his movements. But he had all reason to be quiet. There in front of him was an Abra. I'd seen them before. They were Psychic Pokémon and often teleported away before anyone could catch them. A trainer with an Abra had obviously worked hard. Joel pressed the button on the ball and dove onto the Pokémon, and Dave and I watched as it was sucked in, the ball closed and began to rock dangerously.

"Don't let it escape, man!" I cried out.

After a few moments, the ball stopped moving, and Joel had his first Pokémon.

"Well, it appears I am now Champion material," Joel grinned, standing up and holding the ball in his hands. "I have just captured an Abra."

"Hell yeah! Psychic Pokémon are great," Dave hit him a high five, and then Joel gave me one. "I've got a Haunter. I think they can learn some Psychic moves."

"Well, dude, if you're ever up against a Fighting Pokémon, that little dude will win, no questions asked!" I smiled.

It seemed Joel had initiated the Pokémon catching spree. I was now in the mood to add another warrior to my team, but I was picky. They would have to be just right. Dave wasn't resting until he caught a Machop, and part of me hoped that now Joel had a Pokémon, he would join us. Most of me knew that he wouldn't. It was the harsh truth. But now that was the lesson I had to learn.

* * *

Half an hour had passed and I'd found jack shit.

"Aren't there any good Grass Pokémon?" I cried out. Dave looked up from another large patch of grass. I'd found endless Spearow and Pidgey, all of which Ace had threatened - I didn't want to hurt them. A check with my Pokédex showed me that Storm was at level 21, Flame at level 15 and Ace at level 18. Flame was going to evolve soon - he was still very aggressive and his tail burned bright. Maybe a few battles would provoke an evolution.

"Chaaar!" he growled, as I released him. He seemed happy to be outside - happy in the sense that he wanted to beat the living shit out of any poor sucker unlucky enough to approach him.

Atta boy.

He was becoming more independent. He strode on over to an odd-looking pile of leaves sticking out from the ground, much darker than the grass, and yanked on them. A loud screech erupted from the leaves and I almost fell over. _What the hell?_ Flame just stared at me, as if I was some magical god that could provide the answer.

"You're becoming very feminine, Darrell. That scream was something else, my boy!"

"Shut up, Joel!"

I went over to examine the leaves, but before I could investigate further, the leaves came to life and a tiny Pokémon jumped up from where they had been. I recognised it as an Oddish, a fairly uncommon Grass Pokémon. It just looked at me, confused and curious, appearing to have no recollection or caring of my lizard yanking its leaves.

It was mine.

I pulled out a Poké Ball and tossed it towards the Oddish, where it was sucked in and I pressed my hands down on it to prevent escape. It seemed as if it didn't even bother fighting. But that didn't matter to me. I now had four Pokémon, and instantly, the Oddish meant a lot to me. Like I could conquer anything that came my way.

"Did you catch anything yet?" I shouted to Dave.

"Not a thing!"

Pride was my friend.


	12. The Great Southern Trendkill

**A/N: **I'm such a bad Pantera fan. Any metal fans on here reading this will have noticed that the chapters are all songs from the Pantera album 'Reinventing The Steel'. Well, I added in a chapter called 'The Underground in America'…only to discover that the song isn't on that album, and it's on another. SO. I'm going to leave it as it is, but miss out 'The Underground in America' on 'The Great Southern Trendkill', and all will be in business. Because I'm trying to have the chapter titles relate to the chapter itself. It makes sense to me.

Also. Thank you guys for reviews! It means a lot, and inspires me that little bit more to keep this story going. I really like it, and I'd feel so bad if I let any of you down by discontinuing it. That happens so often on this site, and I feel most Pokémon journey stories aren't very good - you know the sort, having Deoxys as a starter or something ridiculous like that. But I'm no one to judge!

Anyways. Happy reading. And enjoy the twelfth chapter of Hellbound. :D

* * *

My newest team-mate's name was Lily.

It seemed fitting for the only girl I had on my team.

I was a hit with the ladies.

But in all seriousness, the day had been - apart from a little incident in a little forest caused by a little fucker - excellent. Caught a new Pokémon. Explored a cave. Harassed by Team Rocket, and beat a bastard down to rescue my best friend like my life was some kind of lame action movie. You know the sort. Walking slowly away from an enormous explosion was one of my life goals, though.

Thanks to that complete bitch known as Mother Nature, we didn't make it to Vermilion City. We ventured outwards from Cerulean in hopes of reaching Dave's hometown but the torrential rain was horizontal, the wind was screaming in our ears and it was freezing. We turned back and ran for our lives, and just as we made it back, we saw Joel outside his parent's house, enjoying the night sky, completely dry.

Bastard.

Joel's grandparents had a few spare rooms, and they let Dave and I stay in one so we didn't catch cold. We were there now, and I had to admit the room was very comfortable. Two soft beds and a small, cosy lamp that lit up the room nicely were really the best things in life. And Iron Maiden. And cups of tea. Damn, that was the life. And that was how we spent our night.

"You know," Joel began, playing with a deck of cards. "That Abra I caught. What should I name it?"

"'Fucknut'," Dave suggested.

"Charming," I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help smiling. I was absently drawing in the sketchbook I had earlier forgotten about, and discovered it at the bottom of my superiorly Joel-organised bag. Art still had to be my favourite thing in the world. It provided an escape, and every time I produced something good, I was immensely proud. Little things filled me with such accomplishment - and I hadn't drawn that day. It was almost like not waking up.

"Uh…" Dave thought aloud, lying down in bed, arms crossed over his face. "Hocus. Call it Hocus. Like the film…" We were silent. "Man, guacamole sounds good right now."

"As does a brain transplant," Joel replied, staring at him, unblinking and unmoving. Then he burst out laughing, his face creasing into smiles.

Dave began reeling off names - 'Babushka', 'Abraham', 'Bra', 'Metal Rex', 'Baberaham' were a few - but Joel ignored all of them and settled on 'Skylar'. I thought it was quite cute. It was just so strange that he actually had a Pokémon. Maybe he would just hang out with it and be its friend rather than just battling it for pride and money like every other brainwashed little ten-year-old in Kanto did.

I still hadn't realised why I was doing it, but I was sure it wasn't pride. Money not so much.

"Why not 'Bra'?" Dave whined petulantly.

"Because that's a shit name."

"Is not!"

"Is too."

"Don't start!" I laughed, and to my joy, they did. "Anyway…what time is it?" Joel pointed me to the clock. Half past one in the morning. The night was still young. But I felt tired after such a long and eventful day. And my jaw ached a bit, but I had forgotten earlier and didn't notice. Now it was just a dull throb in the back of my head.

Dave read my mind. "Must be getting skills from Bra because I know you're thinking about Gary Fucking Oak. Bets that he's in Vermilion City will be taken in shortly."

"Gary Oak?" Joel thought aloud. "Remember him! What a twat. Like, really. Bloody pretentious fuck thinking he's the shit. And he punched you, didn't he, Darrell? If he ever sees you again, you tell me, and I will…" He paused. "I will do things!"

Gotta love your friends.

* * *

I was pleasantly awakened the next morning not by the expected pillow in face, or much worse things in face, but to loud shouts and chants outside. Joel's grandparent's home was situated near the Pokémon Center, and that was where the noise was coming from. At half past nine in the morning, I was sitting in my bed, wide awake with Dave, both of us staring at each other, half-dead.

"I hate everything."

"What are they shouting about?" I groaned. "Did someone lose a stupid battle and they're raising merry hell?"

The door slammed open and Joel pranced - literally pranced - in. "Good _moooooorni-_ oh, damn! You're up! What the hell? Darrell, that's not like you, my boy!"

I just blinked, senses deadening and wishing I could sleep until everything faded into an apocalyptic wasteland. "Listen."

"Yeah, there's a protest going on," Joel shrugged. "It's something to do with the government trying to close the Pokémon Center or some shit. And on top of that, apparently Team Rocket are about."

_That_ woke me up.

* * *

A hearty breakfast was had.

I felt no fuller, though. My stomach was still in knots. _Team Rocket. Team Rocket. Team Fucking Rocket are fucking here to fucking fuck us up. Oh fuck. Oh dear. Oh. Fornication. _To add to the discomfort, the day turned out to be surprisingly hot for February, and I deeply regretted wearing the same clothes I had worn the previous day.

Got to take what you can get, right? Fuck changing every day.

We could have been walking around naked and a difference in temperature wouldn't have been made - but if everyone walked around naked, the world would have just been a better place. So we ended up going out to investigate the protest with me shirtless, Dave in a white vest, and Joel shirtless to join me. No regrets.

"What's going on?" Joel asked some individual, Jett pawing around at his feet, examining him for any danger. Ace sat happily on my shoulder; he seemed to like the sun, but looked much more interested in the crowd of people he could see.

"This Pokémon Center is run independently. If it needs money, trainers will donate in gratitude. It's only fair. It's the way it's always been, all over Kanto. But the government is trying to shut it down. Apparently it's illegal to have it independent."

"That's bullshit! No way is that illegal!" Dave cried, grabbing the attention and high-fives of some of the protestors. "How the _fuck?"_

Clearly this guy knew something about law.

Some kind of power mixed with pride rushed through my veins at that moment, or it could have just been the sheer heat. The air was warm and humid, it was like breathing in that warm air I'd always smelt on holiday. I'd never been to a protest before. I felt adventurous and free, and the knowledge I was away from Pallet Town just added to my freedom. I couldn't help smiling like a maniac. I was beginning to live my life. And I would have this for as long as I wanted it. Happiness was my friend.

But it was vanquished all of a sudden.

A strange man, dressed in all black - how he even survived the heat was beyond me - ran out of the Center, holding a stereotypical bag of loot, but this wasn't a cheesy movie. This was a real life robbery, and before I knew anything, I had tackled the man with a loud yell to grab attention, and brought him and myself to the ground. I fought against the anger that had conquered me the previous day, and would not let it do it again.

"Darrell!"

"Yeah, you _go,_ dude!"

"Grab him! Grab him!"

"What the hell's he doing?"

"Team Rocket?"

"Come on, Darrell, it's alright, man!"

Someone else had pulled me away from him. A police officer. I was back with Dave and Joel, stumbling about. I had stopped a robbery. I had stopped a Rocket grunt. I had prevented I had stopped I had just done something I wasn't even sure I understood. I tackled someone. He'd robbed the Center and I stopped him. Oh. Oh wow. Oh fuck. Oh man. Oh.

"Well done, son," the young officer said to me, pulling the grunt up. Handcuffs. Arrested. "We've always had trouble with the Rockets. I'm not surprised it was them again, behind this crime."

The Rocket said nothing. He just glared at Dave, Joel and I.

"Here you go," he said, digging something from his pocket, and handed me a small, golden-coloured disc. "It's not much, but I'd like to give you a proper reward at some point. It's a TM. You know what those are?"

I nodded. "They teach attacks, yeah?"

"Yup," he nodded back in appreciation. "That one teaches Thunderbolt. It'd be pretty good for that Pikachu you have there. Anyway, thanks, son!"

A little disc that would teach my Ace how to shock an opponent into oblivion. My day was already eventful. Again. I'd caught a Rocket, stopped a robbery, and now had the protestors congratulating me. I had a new item on my hands. I'd heard of TMs before, but never owned any. I'd never needed them. But they would have to come in useful at some point. Every self-respecting trainer used them.

It felt good to be part of the protest. Or, it could have just been the heat.


	13. War Nerve

_**February 19**__**th**_

_We've done close to absolutely nothing today. Apart from stop a robbery and become involved in a protest down at the Center. It felt good to be part of something._

_Flame's stopped trying to outdo each successive battle in terms of intensity, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't try. He took the leap, and he evolved, into a badass Charmeleon, so I don't have much longer until I get my Charizard. He's up to his level 20 or so by now, and Ace isn't far behind. Storm is the same – but he's a Gyarados and can't help his aggressive ways. Ace is more strategic when it comes to battle, thinking on his own and I'm a guide for him rather than a master. Exactly how I want it. I'm tired of seeing these stupid assholes think that their __Pokémon__ have no brain and need constant command._

_I think we're going to head to Vermilion City later. _

_Got to go. Dave's calling me._

"Whatcha want, Davey boy?"

"We're going to the Gym!"

That sounded good. I could do with a workout.

"Ooh, with treadmills and weights? Excellent, just what I needed."

He came into the room, pulling his jacket on, and rolled his eyes. "No, we're going to the Pokémon Gym. You know what those are? With Pokémon? Know what those are, too?"

I pulled an eye down and made a 'durrrr' sound, and then creased up laughing. I loved joking with the guy, I really did. He was so much fun. Joel was kicking around somewhere, but I doubted he would have come to the Gym with us. He would have been terrible in battle. Especially if I was battling and he decided to make faces or sing off-key or shout obscenities.

I loved my best friend.

* * *

"I feel pretty good about this!" I was almost skipping on the way to the Gym, with Dave in tow. Joel was kicking around in the city somewhere, probably for the better. If that fucker decided to show up in the middle of a battle and start waffling on about irrelevance rather loudly…

"Yeah? Damn right you should. You have Ace and Lily! That means _winning!"_

A Grass-type and an Electric-type meant pretty much instant win. I felt pleased as punch.

We entered the Gym happily to find Misty seemingly waiting for us. I didn't have any interest in taking on any other trainer. Dave waited around at the door and I marched forward, metal music in my ears as the pride surged through me. I could do this. I could do this. I could do this.

"You're a new face!" she greeted me with. I introduced myself. "Every Trainer I meet has a policy about Pokémon. What's your approach when it comes to Pokémon?"

Now this lady was good.

A _policy?_ How I _approached_ Pokémon? Man. I hadn't thought about it before. I hadn't ever really gone out of my way to find a Pokémon. I guess if I saw something I liked, I took it. It happened with Ace in Viridian Forest – who was growing so fast, he seemed totally different from the young electric mouse I met there – and it happened with Storm, who no doubt would have been shunned when he was a Magikarp. I thought Lily was cute when I first saw her, and I wanted a Grass type. I took what I wanted and I tried my hardest to make friends. How I _approached _Pokémon? I really didn't know.

"I…find something I like, I guess," I shrugged, a little embarrassed to be so uncouth around a Gym Leader. "I mean, I try my best to be friends with Pokémon…battling isn't my thing, really, I think it's…"

Come on, Darrell. You're against a Gym Leader. Don't be a tool and fuck this up.

"I think it glorifies fighting," I proudly finished, and Misty actually looked a little impressed.

"Well, that's something new to hear!" she smiled. "My personal policy is an all-out offensive approach with the Water type. All right, you ready to go?"

Ace's Poké Ball in my hand. I was ready to go, alright.

* * *

Misty started the battle by sending out Staryu, and I sent out my Ace. He sent a few small thunder shocks over his body, clenching paws together, a fierce little smile on his face. I almost had to wipe away a tear. He was growing so fast and becoming strong. A thing I had noticed about Kanto was that many people called the _trainer_ 'strong' rather than the Pokémon. People were idiots.

"Thundershock, Ace!"

"Staryu! Tackle!"

Misty's Staryu was one of the most fascinating Pokémon I'd seen but I had no time to dwell over stars – that thing was fast, but not fast enough for my lightning-quick pal. He dodged the attack and retaliated with Thundershock, and I found myself hoping the thing would faint. I was sure it was because Dave was watching that I acted like a stupid fanatical Pokémon trainer, hell bent on winning winning winning.

The same attacks were ordered out but Ace didn't dodge Staryu in time. It didn't do serious harm to him. Left him a bit winded, but he let loose with another Thundershock and Staryu fainted. My little dude, bless him, jumped and hit me a high five with his small paw.

Misty sent out Starmie next – kind of an upgraded version of Staryu, with more purple and a much nicer jewel in the middle. It was pretty hypnotizing to look at, a very gorgeous Pokémon. I almost found myself drooling. For the first time, I held Lily's Poké Ball in my hand, and Ace retreated back to my feet, too excited and het up to not watch the battle he had perhaps helped win.

"Alright, Lily, ready to go?" I released her and she stood there, not really understanding what was going on – then she realised it was battle time and perked a little. She was so small in comparison to the beast of a Starmie in front of her it was almost laughable. I knew I had the advantage.

"Absorb, Lily!"

"Starmie, use Water Gun!"

Now _fuck me,_ that Starmie was fast. It shot a blast of water over my new partner, but Lily seemed hardly fazed by the attack. Knocked to her feet, she simply stood up again and jumped forward.

Atta girl.

That was the way to deal with life.

What happened next was fucking beyond me: it seemed as if Lily was pulling in Starmie just by opening her mouth, green orbs floated from Starmie to my Oddish and while Starmie looked a bit weaker, Lily seemed more full of life. Literally.

The most awesome thing I'd ever witnessed? Hell to the goddamn yeah.

"Absorb again!"

"Bubblebeam, Starmie!"

Starmie got first shot again and knocked out a series of huge, powerful bubbles to hit Lily. She was still standing, but stumbling around. I didn't know what was wrong. Paralysis couldn't possibly be caused by _bubbles,_ that was bullshit. She was weak. I returned her to her Poké Ball, made sure to tell her she did a good job – then my dismay was quickly vanquished when I sent out the trusty Pikachu that had been with me almost since the start.

"Pika pika!"

"You know it, boy!"

I could issue attacks without even saying their names – Ace knew just what to do. He cast a Thundershock on Starmie. I thought the Pokémon might faint, but no such luck. It mustered up the last of its strength, and hit my Ace with an enormous Tackle. Ace landed dangerously close to the water and it took him longer than usual to get up.

"Fuck," I whispered to myself. Ace hadn't given up yet, and neither had I. "Okay, Ace, go for it again."

My Pikachu, bless his little heart. He tried once again to get a lightning zap in, but Starmie let loose with another Tackle and Ace was actually sent flying through the air behind me. He cried out as he landed, and from behind me, I could feel the shock and horror from Dave, could already see it on his face. I had to figure out what to do. I didn't want to lose. But with pretty much the only chance I had slowly going down the drain, that was the way it was going.

"I forfeit!" I announced, the moment suddenly dramatic thanks to Dave's gasp. I picked up Ace, but didn't return him just yet. "No battle is worth this. The danger of losing a friend."

Misty returned that bitch of a Starmie to its Poké Ball, but she didn't frown at me. She was actually smiling. "What you've just said to me shows how much you really do care for your Pokémon. If you had continued that battle any further, your Pikachu could have been seriously hurt, beyond the help of a Pokémon Center."

The Gym was silent, the air filled with only heavy breathing from Ace and myself.

"Unfortunately," she continued on. "I've witnessed a lot of serious injuries towards Pokémon – partially caused by Pokémon, but also because their trainers are blind to it and only want to win. So, Darrell, I'm going to give you the Cascade Badge."

My jaw dropped. Literally dropped.

The shock was like being struck by lightning. It electrified my body into stasis and I couldn't move.

She was going to give me the badge even though I didn't win.

What.

That was my exact sentence to her. "…w-what? But I…I didn't win!"

She giggled and placed the badge into the hand that wasn't supporting Ace. "I know. But I feel that you deserve it more than any other trainer. You really love and care for your Pokémon!"

I did. And I couldn't stop the ridiculous smiling that was plastered to my face.

Ace looked up at me, eyes half-closed, but still grinning. "Pika!"

"Thanks!"

She smiled at me. Damn, she was cute. Really cute. Lovely blue eyes and red hair and smooth skin. But perhaps that was the testosterone talking – and the fact she'd just given me a badge. "Good luck, Darrell. I really, really hope you do well – you could go so far!"

I would definitely try. Her words were simply fuel.

* * *

"I'm _jealous!"_

"You already have the badge. What are you jealous of?"

After a minor celebration by buying some drinks, we were at the Pokémon Center, getting ready and raring to go for the small journey to Vermilion City. The plan was to go to the city, beat Lt. Surge to a speck of smoking dust, perhaps stay at Dave's and then venture northeast to Lavender Town. Vermilion City meant my third badge, and Lavender Town meant Joel.

It was about to hit eight, and the world was pitch dark, lit only by clear streetlights. The Center was empty other than the nurse, a few other trainers, and us. It was actually quite relaxing. The Centers were always known as safe havens. He had Jett out, who was pawing around, examining absolutely everything. Dave was rearranging his supplies, notebook out to make a list. Ah. He was learning the ways of the Joel.

My bag, however, felt a little emptier than usual for some reason. Maybe I was just getting used to having it on pretty much all of the time. I checked to make sure everything was still there. Poké balls? Check. Clothes? Check. My phone, MP3 and camera? Checkaroo. Anything else? Checkity check.

I had really been meaning to use the camera and take pictures of absolutely everything but I hadn't had a chance. It was going on a journey, starting now. I took it out, snapped a picture of an unknowing Dave and placed it into my pocket. Man, I could really be evil when I wanted to.

I couldn't help think of the battle earlier. I told Misty I was forfeiting because Ace was becoming pretty beat up. And somehow that was badge-worthy. The mischievous little section of my brain said that maybe I could just do that at every Gym, and get myself all the badges with minimal effort. But I dismissed that idea. It wasn't fair to the Leaders, to my Pokémon or myself. I really did try in the battle with Misty, and so far, all my battles had been in my favour. But I had to learn, things wouldn't always go my way. There were better trainers than me, and I would definitely see better Pokémon. But I knew that was my next step – raise my Pokémon to be the best _they_ could be, to no one else's standards, to no one else's rules.


	14. Drag The Waters

Dave and I bade a long goodbye to Joel, who was heading back to the boring, overtly religious shithole known as Lavender Town. If the ghosts didn't get him, the sheer boredom would, and I found myself feeling sorry for the guy. He was a loud-mouthed, happy-go-lucky kind of dude, and Lavender Town had to be the worst place for him. Other than Pokémon, there really wasn't much to do in any of Kanto. My thoughts of the region were beginning to dawn on me as true. Pokémon really were more popular than I thought – kids were more brainwashed and obsessive than I thought.

We stayed in the Center after "defeating" Misty thanks to the weather. It proved to be an insanely smart idea: clothes were washed, bags were organised, and the local Mart was only a ten-second sprint away. Shopping late at night was one of my favourite things; the knowledge I could do it as I pleased warmed my heart and my smiles. Our teams were out of their Poké Balls in the Center that night, and we were the only people there, aside from the nurse. She was kind to us, and was always smiling. She was cute, in the way I just wanted to take her home with me and love her.

February 20th was a fairly cold day, but there was no sign of rain or wind. It felt like forever I'd been in that Iron Maiden T-shirt, so I decided to change my outfit. I came out of the bathroom in a Slayer T-shirt, the same jeans, and black hoodie. Typical Darrell wear. Dave changed his clothes and after writing down a small plan of the day ahead, we were on our way.

Felt good.

"You know," Dave began as we headed down the southern route. Past the underground tunnel was Vermilion City, where we planned to wipe the floor with Lt. Surge, then head east to Lavender to visit Joel. After that we had many directions to go. "If you want to beat Surge and beat him easily, you could go to Diglett's Cave and catch a Diglett. Or a Dugtrio if you're lucky."

Five Pokémon? Four was enough. Hell, Flame right now was a damn responsibility. He was constantly aggressive and stomping around, up for a battle with any living thing, and it took a lot of telling off for him to listen. I kept telling myself that it was simply because he was currently a Charmeleon, and would calm down a bit when he evolved once again.

Ace had proved me wrong, and the shock had made me love him just that bit more. He looked young and fairly weak when I first saw him, but he'd zapped Gary Fucking Oak's Spearow into oblivion, and every time I looked at him now, I saw a confident, happy, tough little dude who could take on the world. He was young, but not weak. Not anymore.

I hadn't used Storm in a battle for a while, purely because he didn't need to. Like Flame, it was in his nature to be aggressive and thrash about everywhere, and I really didn't need that. It didn't make me love him any less. Lily was the one I was most protective of. She was still young, and the smallest of all my team. I barely let her battle unless she had the advantage, or the opponent was weak. She made a good special friend for Ace, though.

Here I was, talking about _love._ Love for my Pokémon. It was something I never thought I would experience. Sure, I'd thought Pokémon were cute, or badass. Or sympathy and worry for when they fainted. But not _love._ If I had the chance to look at my team, standing in a line, the rush of love and pride in my heart would have been too much and I wouldn't have been able to hold back the smile or the tears. They were my _family,_ dammit. It wasn't uncommon for Pokémon to die – trainers, too – and fuck, if I saw a Fire-type Pokémon about to incinerate my Lily, I would have taken the blast in a heartbeat. No hesitation.

"Another Pokémon…" I wondered out loud.

"Maybe not," Dave chuckled. "It seems like your boy is getting a bit out of hand."

Dammit, Flame.

I didn't have any time to make a witty retort: some little dude wearing a backwards baseball cap and shorts rushed up to us, holding two Poké Balls. "Hey! Hey! Are you guys trainers?"

"Yeah," Dave shrugged after a few dumbfounded seconds. Then his face curved into a mischievous, but kind-hearted, smile. "You want to battle us, kiddo?"

The kid nodded frantically, grinning like a maniac. I couldn't help but try to understand how he was feeling –having Pokémon must have been the greatest thing in the world at that age. It meant you could battle, make friends, travel around the region if parents allowed it. But I didn't regret anything. I liked that Dave and I were older than most of the trainers in Kanto, for some reason. It didn't make me feel superior, or better than everyone else. I just liked it.

Dave turned to me, breaking my thoughts. Damn. "You want to have a go, dude?"

I shrugged and agreed. Lily could use some training, and the kid didn't look like he was exactly Elite Four standard. I couldn't help but think it would have been the funniest thing in the world if he'd sent out a fucking Dragonite against my Oddish.

"Well, I'm Darrell," I introduced myself. "How old are you, kid?"

"I'm Mikey," he grinned. "I'm 11, and just became a trainer. I just caught these!"

He sent out a Growlithe – not bad for a first catch, I decided. I didn't want to terrify him with the wrath of Storm, so I sent out Ace. He performed his signature move – the clenching of paws, charging some electricity around his body – and the pride found my heart once again.

"Ace, you know what to do, boy!"

"Growlithe, Ember!"

I knew that Growlithe would fiercely protect their trainers, and their evolution was the embodiment of dedication. I'd always liked Arcanine. But for now, I had to focus on the battle. Dave stood by and watched intently. Bastard. He hadn't battled for a while. It was going to be his turn if we met another trainer – and man, would I enjoy it.

Ace got in there first and zapped Growlithe with a Thundershock, and then paralyzed the pup with Thunder Wave. The pang of sympathy in my heart began to ache. Badly. My little dude took Ember quite well, and I didn't issue any attacks until I had had a good think about what I was doing. That thing could have _died_ if I'd went all-out, but most trainers did return their Pokémon before any serious damage could be dealt. There were the idiots who didn't do that, though. I didn't want to be one of them. I certainly didn't want to be a fucking murderer.

"Pika?" Ace looked up at me, intrigued by why I wasn't saying anything.

"I wouldn't let your Pokémon get hurt," I said to Mikey. "Don't turn into one of those trainers who are bent on winning. Your Pokémon matter, and battles hurt. Don't let them get seriously hurt."

He wasn't the maniacal fanatic I had thought he had been. He nodded and returned the Growlithe to its ball. At least I was teaching one of the younger generation about how to be a good trainer – or at least how I saw a good trainer. He sent out a Rattata, much fiercer and jumpier than Growlithe.

"Ace, come back," I told my electric mouse, and he obediently ran behind my legs. It was time to train up the newest member of my team. "Alright, little lady, your turn to go!"

Lily appeared in front of me, looking much perkier and happy than usual. She was a very carefree Pokémon, oblivious to the dangers and horrors of real life. I admired that about her, and began to understand what people meant by learning from Pokémon. Lily's attitude to life was something I wanted to adopt into my own personality.

"Rattata, Super Fang!"

"Absorb, Lily!"

Rattata, that lightning-fast bitch, got in there with Super Fang first. Lily seemed to be in a bit of pain, but I couldn't tell very well. Like always, she stood up, jumped forward, and pulled life out of Rattata with Absorb. The small cuts from Super Fang I could see on her little body began to knit themselves together with the new life. It was just incredible to watch.

The Rattata looked a little dazed, so I quickly got in another Absorb before Rattata blasted off with a Quick Attack. Lily landed against my leg, and I was just amazed at her reaction. She looked up at me, and actually smiled. A cute, happy little smile. Then she jumped forward again. Man, that little girl was fearless. She either knew no fear, or that was just her attitude. It amazed me.

Mikey returned his last Pokémon to its ball, and looked up at me with a smile. "…even though I lost, that was still a good fight!" I couldn't help but nod. "Have you got any advice?"

Don't be a twat and let your Pokémon die. Listen to their feelings. Care about them. Spend time with them. You're their trainer, that means you're basically a parent. Look after them. Give them treats. Go places. Don't be afraid. Don't let them get hurt. Build up trust. None of the advice I could think of seemed to cut it in the way I wanted to say it. Any _advice?_ I was just as much of a rookie as he was.

"I guess all you need to do is love your Pokémon."

He seemed to understand.

* * *

We were finally at Vermilion City by around lunchtime. We were eating lunch at a Pokémon-friendly café in the city, next to the seaside, and it was actually quite pleasant. I had Lily on my lap, for being the star Pokémon of the day, and Dave had Jett out, who was either underneath the table or sitting on the chair next to his trainer. The café was a small place, but the service was just beautiful and we had our food within two sweet minutes.

"I've never had soup this amazing before!" I blurted out to Dave when I took the first spoonful of luscious tomato soup. He had ordered some kind of chicken pie thing; it just made me miss my mother's cooking to the point of agony. Some exhaustive training with Flame would have to go down so he could evolve as soon as possible. Dave just laughed at me. They had put onions and mushrooms in the middle of my soup, so Lily received a nice treat. It only made sense.

"So, our plan," Dave spoke, beckoning Jett onto the seat next to him. The Jolteon obeyed, and peered at the food. "We go beat Lt. Surge's ass, right? And then lots of training in Diglett's Cave?"

I nodded – I was pretty sure that soup left me speechless. It was just so damn _good._ I gave another mushroom to Lily, who devoured it and smiled at me.

"It'll be good for Lily," Dave explained. "And Storm, too. Seeing as they have the advantage. I don't know if my Shadow will do any—"

For the first time in a while, my phone began ringing obnoxiously. It was no time to enjoy the gentle caressing of Damageplan, so I answered and was quite happy to hear the sound of dearest brother Eddie down the phone. He hadn't phoned since I'd been at Pewter City. That seemed like decades ago.

"Hey, Darrell!"

"Hiya, Ed. You alright?"

"Yeah, fine! Where are you?"

"Vermilion City. Trust me, it's actually not as nice as that advert makes it out to be."

_Spend your vacation in the sunny Vermilion City! An exotic cruise awaits!_ That kind of bullshit. It could be sunny when it wanted to be, but it just wasn't _exotic._ It was too close to home to be _exotic._ Besides, the cruise I'd heard of wasn't leaving for a long time. It was a party boat dedicated to Pokémon. It sounded like fun, but wasn't my cup of tea.

"Anyway, Darrell…there's something you gotta know. Team Rocket have been prowling about here lately."

Everything froze. Time was sucked into a black hole and ceased to exist. I didn't care Dave was staring at me. Team Rocket was in my hometown. Team Rocket was _in my hometown._ But why? Why would they go to such a boring place? There really was nothing there, nothing of interest…

Apart from Professor Oak's laboratory.

"Why are they there?"

"I don't know. They're just wandering about, looking real suspicious. Hanging about the lab. I think they're wanting to steal some Pokémon from the Professor."

"Hell no!"

"Hell yes," Eddie sighed. "I just wanted to let you know. Maybe you could deal with them, seeing as you're the big tough trainer now!"

Like hell was I a big, tough trainer. Maybe Dave could deal with Team Rocket, maybe both of us could. But not me alone. I was still too worried that I would lose a team mate. I couldn't. I was pretty sure the loss would destroy me – and if not, it would get dangerously close. I had to get back to Pallet Town somehow. Neither of us owned a flying Pokémon, or something that could teleport us there.

Teleport…

That was it.

"Eddie, don't go near those guys," I fiercely instructed my little brother. "They're dangerous. They kidnapped Joel and tried to torture him. We'll be there soon."

I hung up and looked back at Dave, who was staring back at me, confused and in the middle of eating his lunch. I looked at Jett, then back to my travelling buddy. "We need to get to Pallet Town."

"The fuck was that, dude?"

"My thoughts exactly."

* * *

At Diglett's Cave, I'd taken Lily and Storm for some training, while Dave went further east to Route 16 to train Jett and Shadow. Ace was resting in his Poké Ball, and he wouldn't have done well against the endless Diglett in the cave. The cave was dark but Flame lit the dank, damp place up with Ember, and I figured letting loose some fire would be a good way to deal with any frustration or pointless rage he may have felt.

"Flame, boy," I called over to him. He looked up at me. Happy to see he still obeyed when he heard his name. "I need you to just light this place up for us. No fighting any Pokémon, I need you to be strong."

"Chaaar."

I hadn't caught any new Pokémon yet, but I was alone, and had plenty of time to think. Lily and Storm knew how to deal with the Pokémon by now, and they were taking turns. It was good to see my Gyarados actually get on with a Pokémon of completely opposite size. Part of it was almost funny but the humour was clouded by my worry and my concern. Team Rocket were in Pallet Town. Team Rocket were in Pallet Town.

"You did well, love," I smiled weakly down at Lily, who had just defeated the second Diglett in a row, but I couldn't feel any pride or enthusiasm whatsoever. It just seemed robotic and monotonous. I just felt sad. No other word for it. Not upset, troubled, hurt…just _sad. _I wasn't home, and had no way to get home unless we could get to Joel and somehow get his Abra to teleport us.

"Od?" Lily spoke up, rubbing her head against my arm as I sat down on the ground near the entrance of the cave. She climbed into the space between my legs and looked up at me.

"Never mind, girl," I spoke back. "It doesn't matter."

"Od…ish?" Her voice was somewhat unhappy.

"It's nothing to worry about, Lily," I told her, smiling at her, holding her as she sat on my knee. "I think I'm just a bit homesick."

I wasn't sure if I was lying to myself or to her.

"Odd-odd," she said, making a sort of shrugging gesture. I didn't understand what she was saying, but either she was accepting it or telling me that everything was alright. The air around us was still cold, but not to the point of nipping. A bright glow in the clouds above meant the sun and I hoped it would emerge soon. I was sure I was right. I _was_ homesick. I hadn't ever felt homesick before. It was like I was discovering a new person, a whole new Darrell. There were still things I had to find out about myself. Lily had coaxed that realisation out of me – and the meaning of learning from Pokémon became just a bit clearer. They really were amazing creatures.

"We'll go back and train, okay?" I smiled at my girl, feeling a little less numb and more full of life. My Pokédex had told me that Lily was around level 15, Storm at level 22, Flame at level 20, and Ace at level 20. Dave's Pokémon had to be somewhere in their early thirties by now. I almost envied him.

"Oddish!" she nodded at me, and headed back into the cave by herself. I breathed in some fresh Vermilion air, and followed her into the cave, wondering what lessons I would learn next from my family, and shoving the worry of Team Rocket to the back of my chaotic mind.


	15. 10's

"What? The Gym's _closed?_ How can a Gym be closed?"

Even Storm was backing away from Dave, he was so ferocious.

The clocks of Vermilion had struck 7PM, the time we had planned to skip on over to the Gym and beat Lt. Surge into a speck of nothing. But our joy had been in vain: a fat sign had been pasted onto the door, with a 'CLOSED' screaming out at us in red letters. I didn't know anything about Kanto's Gyms other than the fact you went in and fought a Gym Leader, but apparently they were open every minute of every day according to Dave's angry pacing around the place. I was sat on the pavement near the local Mart, which was cheery and bright inside and people were filing in and out. Ace sat next to me, looking a little acceptably disappointed in contrast to Dave's psychotic rage.

"I didn't even know Gyms were open all the time," I admitted rather unnecessarily, shrugging.

"They are!" Dave cried, snapping Ace back to reality. "They're open 24/7. The Leader's not there all the time, but you can go in whenever you want and just train. Even at 4AM, there's at least _someone_ there willing to battle! But it's never _closed!"_

A trainer from the Mart had obviously overheard Dave's ridiculous shouting and was about to walk past us when he stopped. He looked a bit like Gary which frustrated me a little – _why must he be everywhere? – _but he was actually greeting us like humans, which made certain it wasn't Gary. He was in a blue jumpsuit of sorts with spiky brown hair.

"You guys here about the Gym?" he asked, rather politely. Dave calmed down, and nodded. "It's lame, isn't it? Lt. Surge says it's for the best, though. It's only going to be for today, perhaps tomorrow. It depends."

"But _why?_ What's going on?" Dave demanded.

The trainer sighed. "You haven't heard, have you?"

He walked off. Just like that, he fucked off, and Dave didn't bother shouting after him. We just exchanged each other curious and confused looks, and read each other's minds: _what in the name of fuck is going on here?_

* * *

"Please help! Please help!"

"Oh!"

Well, damn whoever had disturbed my daydreams, but I was willing to let it go. Dave and I had dragged ourselves to the Center for some chilling time; we also were debating over whether or not to go to Diglett's Cave for some training. The Gym being closed meant that we were bored almost to tears, and my phone had died, so there was no way of contacting Joel for some laughs. It was currently charging but it took centuries and I was about to commit suicide.

Some little boy had blasted into the Center, holding a Vaporeon in his hands, and only until the nurse quickly took it away that I realised the poor little thing had been soaked in blood. The little boy was currently crying, comfortless, and we took it as our responsibility to help. We ran over to him and sat him down with us. He didn't protest. That was a good sign.

"What happened? What's wrong?" Dave gently asked, shaking him a little to coax him.

The boy wiped his eyes furiously and then looked at us both, red circles around his electric eyes. "There…th-there was…me and Vaporeon, w-we were out t-together…I was h-heading h-home! And th-this guy…in b-b-black…h-he…he wanted to b-b-battle…"

_And completely destroyed your Vaporeon,_ was what Dave didn't say but I could tell it was lingering on his lips. But in that sobbing, almost unintelligible sentence, we figured out what was going on, and were about to ask when the nurse returned. The little boy perked up and ran up to the counter.

"Is Vaporeon okay? P-Please say she will b-be!"

"Her injuries are quite bad, honey," she sighed, but we knew what she really meant. _She might not live. It's serious. Really serious. She might not live. She might not live. _"Come on, through here. My Chansey will take care of you, and I'll be with you in a minute."

She led him away to the mystical door of dreams, perhaps one similar to where I had recovered from my Viridian Forest adventure of joyous joy. She came over to us, and I bit my lip.

"We're just looking after him," Dave quickly said. "We couldn't…_not,_ you know?"

She sighed. "It's not looking good. I've had so many people run in here like he did today. There's some rogue trainer about, who's battling and having no mercy. I don't know who he is, but Lt. Surge has recommended that people stay at home…"

"Have any of them…?" I didn't need to finish it. To my relief, and to Dave's as I could feel, she shook her head.

"No. Thankfully not. They've all got here just in time, miraculously. It's beginning to get overwhelming, though, and I'm just worried that…"

She didn't need to finish it.

Dave shrugged before he spoke, but not in a rude shrug. "We could maybe help out. I live nearby."

A smile took over her pretty face and I felt myself blush and gasp a tiny bit, she really was pretty. All of the nurses in the Centers were damn _pretty. _Shame that none of the Pallet Town girls were quite the same – they were either stuck-up their own asses, or too young for me. It sucked. While Dave kept talking to the nurse about how we could help her out with the Pokémon, I had my mind on another way, and I felt my brain start to whir.

I tried to put the pieces of the jigsaw situation together. This had been happening all day. Some dude in black completely obliterated that poor Vaporeon. The Gym was shut. Clearly, there was some rogue trainer about who belonged either in jail or in a mental asylum. You could be imprisoned for killing another Pokémon, or abusing your own in all kinds of ways. Exploitation of their powers was one of them. They were damn powerful things, and could easily kill another human…but because of the love and trust humans gave, they gave it back, and did only what they were told.

I began to understand it all more. I feared my Storm a lot of the time because, come on, who wouldn't fear a giant fucking dragon? But I trusted him, and although he couldn't exactly say he trusted me back, I could just feel it in some of the things he did. Hell, if I let him into the water to splash about – the biggest understatement; Storm didn't splash, he caused tsunamis – he would always come back to me. There had to be something in that, right?

But I didn't get how it happened so _quickly._

And this rogue trainer had clearly gained his Pokémon's trust so quickly that they were powerful enough to get the Gym shut and to have every trainer in Vermilion living in fear.

Well, Darrell was going to do something about that.

"I've got an idea," I said, feeling in my pocket for Flame's Poké Ball. He was the one I needed most of all right now. "Dave, you can stay here with the nurse and look after anyone else that comes in."

"What're you doing?" he raised an eyebrow, his arms folded. But he didn't sound stern. He understood. "If it's what I think you're doing, say goodbye to your damn team."

Defiant Darrell was here to save the day. I released Flame and he growled and hissed, expectantly looking around for something to maul. I petted him and he let out a small growl, rubbing his face against my leg. "Not until he gets the fuck out of here."


	16. 13 Steps To Nowhere

Was I scared?

You bet I was.

Walking around Vermilion at night wasn't something I'd ever done before, and wasn't something I had exactly planned either. I had searched the city a few times over and had found no one. What scraps of information I gathered about him was too sparse to be coherent. The only thing that everybody agreed on was that he had a Gengar, and loved to terrify people before wiping the floor with them. Well, I vowed not to be the next one.

So I was sat in the park underneath a few floodlights with Flame pacing around angrily, clearly frustrated that our mission had ended up fruitless. I had started to understand what they were saying – not as if they were talking English, but I just…knew. Something in my mind flexed and I just _got _it. It wasn't something I could explain and was something I wanted to hone and focus on.

But focusing on my idea, that we would find this fucker – we'd spent hours upon hours looking for an invisible man. And it was pretty obvious by now that Flame had had enough. For some comfort, I sent out Ace and Lily. Ace was happy enough just to see his friends, but seemed intimidated – Lily, as always, was just chilling the hell out.

"Charmeleon!" Flame cried. I gave him a startled look.

"Flame, boy, what's wrong?"

"Meleon! Charmeleon!" he flailed his arms and body; I saw the fire dribble at the corners of his mouth. Dave had taught me that was common behaviour in Fire Pokémon – it meant they were angry or frustrated. Flame was clearly both, all of the time.

"Od-od," Lily said, and made a noise that sounded like a sigh. She was saying he was unhappy.

"I know."

"Oddish…odd…ish," she shrugged – if she had arms to shrug with. I didn't get it.

"Pika pika!"Now Ace was being defiant.

Were they arguing?

Then it hit me.

"Really, Flame? You think that we're _weak?_ Because we can't find him?"

"Charmele-meleon," he nodded stiffly. I clenched my teeth.

"Who's the trainer around here?"

"Char-_meleon_!" he shouted, gesticulating. It wasn't hard to see what his meaning was.

"I know I'm trying to act like one and you know it too! I'm trying my damn hardest!" I left Lily and Ace on the bench, both staring at me curiously. I stood up, looking up and breathing deeply, trying to calm the hell down. I kept telling myself that it was only natural for Flame to be super pissed if something didn't go right.

"Char!" he interrupted anything further from me.

"Listen to me, boy, there's a lot going on right now!" I spun to face him, chest heaving with anger. "I'm trying to save this city from someone who will _kill you_ if he finds us! He'll kill all of you, and I won't be able to stop it! Not even Storm will be able to help you! Fuck, he'll probably do away with _me_ as well! And if I'm going to stop him, then I need you to work with me!"

"Charmeleon," he replied – I detected a sort of defeated sigh, but I wasn't sure if he was delivering me some kind of Pokémon sarcasm. I looked at Ace, who just looked completely amazed; Lily was still as calm and as cool as ever.

I sighed and nearly let my palm meet my forehead. "You listen, kid. You're family. Ace and Lily and Storm are family. And you don't leave your damn family behind. I wouldn't let you go. You're strong for us all the time, boy, so now I'm gonna have to be strong for you. I'm supposed to protect you."

He was silent. I kept going.

"And we are _not_ weak."

He turned his face to look at me with one eye. I saw a hint of a smile. He wanted me to say it.

"I didn't start to do this just so I could give up not even halfway through. I didn't do this without knowing there was gonna be risks and fights and all kinds of shit. Are you really gonna hold this against me? Knowing something we did didn't go right? Well, we're gonna _make_ it go right. And I need you, _all_ of you –" I motioned to Ace and Lily too. "—to be strong right now."

Flame turned to me and his shoulders heaved, like some heavy weight had been lifted. I moved over to him slowly, hands in front of me, expecting for him to unleash an Ember attack on me, but I would have been willing to take the blast.

Much reminiscent of when we first met, before I knew it, he was hugging my leg. He held a lot tighter, though, and he hid his face into the creases of my trousers. After a few moments of him nuzzling my leg and growling softly, Ace and Lily scampered from the bench to join in. I held Storm's Poké Ball in my hand and behind me, released him. It seemed awfully out of place to have three small Pokémon and then an enormous dragon behind me, but he bent down as if he sensed the feelings, and let out a small rumble as a growl.

"Pika pika chu?"

"Yeah. Let's go on, guys!"

* * *

Time sliced on but we still had no luck. Flame was conserving his anger and frustration for other occasions, so when we reached a large, empty plaza in Vermilion, I let him release his inner fire as long as he needed to. Storm was safe in my pocket for now; I couldn't really walk about with a Gyarados without _some_ head-turning. I checked my watch. Just gone half past one in the morning.

My mum would have killed me.

Then my phone went off and I was treated to the gentle caressing of Death as my new ringtone. Ace looked up at me, intrigued by the music.

"Hello?"

"Darrell! Are you alright?"

Ah, Dave.

"Fine, dude. We've no luck so far."

"Glad you're alright…listen, bro. We need you to come back, _stat._ Real shit is going down here. There are so many people coming in and we can't take much more—"

I had hung up before he'd even finished. I was all ready to start running to the Center with Ace and Flame at my heels, but I'd only taken one step before I heard something suspicious. Flame was growling, much louder than before – _the same kind of growl when danger was approaching. _I whirled round, expecting to see some stray Pokémon or something, but what faced me was much, much worse.

He was silent as he approached me, and I saw the cherry shimmer of a Poké Ball in his hand. I backed away slowly, and kept softly telling Flame to come back to me, but he stood fiercely in front of me and kept on growling. His sounds would have scared any other Pokémon, but this guy wasn't fazed even the slightest. I expected something rash and it never came.

"…you ain't from here, are ya? Pallet Town. I heard. Fucking _scum."_

"Hey, now!" I said, and instantly regretted it, but I kept talking. Hopefully if I spoke like I meant business, I would start to feel that way. Damn, was I fucking terrified. This was like Gary Fucking Oak all over again and man, was that something I did not want to relive. My hand curled around Storm's Poké Ball. If my words wouldn't scare him, Storm could. "Leave me alone."

"Hmm…nah, I don't think I will. You and me, we'll battle. Right now. You win, I leave you alone. You lose…" In the shadows, I could still see his mouth curl into a menacing grin. I felt it.

And it pissed me the hell off.

"If I lose, _I _get the fuck out of here. Hit me with your best damn shot, because I'm not scared of a lowlife rogue like you."

He sent out his Poké Ball to reveal the Gengar I'd been told about - and instantly, I could literally feel the air sag with cold as the temperature dropped; I shuddered. I'd learnt that from Dave. Gengar could make the temperature plummet by ten degrees and damn, this seemed to be about forty degrees less than what it had been. _Man,_ these things were scary. I hoped Dave would keep Shadow as a Haunter forever.

"Come on then," he smirked. His voice was deep - too deep for Gary Oak to recreate, so any threat of him coming back for revenge was vanquished. Whoever he was, though, he was still terrifying and I wanted to be anywhere other than around him. Since Flame was there, and angry enough to beat down anything, I nodded at him and he got the message.

I commanded my lizard to use Ember, and he heard me but he didn't obey. Instead, he let the Gengar cast out invisible rays to try and confuse him. He avoided them and in a mad fit of rage that something had actually tried to hurt him, he let out an enormous roar, one so loud I didn't even think his lungs were capable of it - and a huge blast of fire erupted from his mouth. It wasn't Fire Blast, Flamethrower, none of them...he was just obeying me and giving it all he had because he understood my anger.

The Gengar had backed off a little but it was just staring into space. The man was shouting, ordering commands that it couldn't give and I started to worry - had Flame seriously hurt it? I shouldn't have cared, this thing was murdering Pokémon, but I couldn't help but bite my lip and say nothing. What was happening? The thing wasn't moving and Flame moved to go in again, but I gripped his shoulder and said no.

What happened next truly shocked me.

I'd been shocked before. However you defined the stupid word. I'd been pretty surprised at horror movies; appalled at the behaviour of some world leader on TV; startled at the fact Professor Oak entrusted me with a Charmander and then sent me on my merry way. But _shocked_ was the only word I could have chosen for this situation. The man, the monster, whatever he was. He began to shout. He was damn loud at it; so loud that it irritated Flame and the blazes of fire began to dribble from the corners of his mouth again, but he remained calm. Calm in his terms, at least.

"You useless piece of shit! Can't you see we're in battle, you stupid fucking—"

He was interrupted by his own screams, and I had covered my eyes from the blast. It had happened so quickly. I didn't understand what had happened, didn't get it, until I saw him lying on the concrete ground, smoke billowing from the bottom half of his body. The heat dissolved in front of me, distorting the air, and Flame looked damn fucking proud of himself – even when my hands met my mouth, and I couldn't control my heavy breathing. But he hadn't even noticed. Once he'd opened his eyes, his jaw dropped to the floor and he stared at me, like I had an answer to his motives.

"Flame, what did you _do?"_

"Charmeleon! Char-char!"

The man didn't get up when I shrieked at him to get up. I took thirteen steps – thirteen exactly, I counted them – to his body and fell to my knees. I hadn't controlled my Pokémon. This was my fault. This was a man nearing death because of me. I started to panic. More like, I was already in motherfucking panic. _Oh God. Oh shit oh fuck oh no. What if he dies?_ I didn't want to worry about him because he'd already caused so much grief and horror in Vermilion already. But the good person inside of me told me otherwise.

"Can you hear me? Wake up! Get up! It's alright! Please get up!"

He didn't, and the panic surrounded me like the shadows of the night, as the temperature just kept on dropping and I felt the air sag and die with the cold. I rubbed my body with my arms to generate heat, but nothing, _nothing_ would wash away guilt.


	17. Suicide Note Part 1

I don't know how long I sat there, on my knees, crying my eyes out.

I knew I should have called for help but it just didn't _occur_ to me, and I hated myself for it. I was too concerned with my own fucking guilt, when I didn't know the extent of this man's injuries. Pokémon were powerful things, goddamnit, whatever size or shape they came in. Lily was walking around him, displaying no emotions other than curiosity, but she did look a little upset and confused. I didn't reprimand her for it. Flame had sat himself a distance from us, his head buried into his paws. I didn't really know how to feel towards him. I knew that he didn't mean it – the anger and frustration had consumed him entirely, and the fact I understood his biology helped reduce any anger I felt. I _knew_ he was aggressive. I _knew_ he was angry. All the time. I just wish he'd taken it out in a more sensible manner.

"Pika pika," Ace said quietly, looking up at me with huge eyes. He was trying to tell me something. Instinctively, I reached for my pocket to feel the relieving bulge of a phone. _Dave. An ambulance. The Center. They can help._ I ruffled his head and he smiled weakly, but turned his head to look at the unconscious man. "Pika pi?"

"I d-don't know, Ace," I couldn't help but stutter out my sentence as I dialled out Dave's number. It rang and I impatiently fidgeted with my spare hand, murmuring vulgar language until he answered, rather cheerfully. "Dave, it's…it's Darrell…"

"You don't sound well. Are you alright?"

"Yeah…well, I…oh, no…"

"Darrell?"

I felt the tears prick the back of my eyes again. I shut them tight, trying to block out the awful sight in front of me. "Dave, we found the guy. The…the one who'd been hurting all of the Pokémon. But…he started to…to really shout at his Gengar…and Flame…oh, God, Flame just wasn't having it, and he…he let out a really strong Fire attack…the guy's burned really badly and he's unconscious and I don't know what to _do_ Dave please please help-!"

"Calm down, Darrell. It's gonna be alright…I'll call an ambulance and then I'll come and get you. Where are you?"

"The…the plaza…th-the—"

"I know which one. I'll be there in five. Hang in there, bud, he'll be fine. I'm with you."

He hung up. And fuck, had I ever felt loneliness before, well, it was nothing compared to the sheer black wave of loneliness that swept over me then. Even with Ace tugging at my too-big jumper, desperate for me to comfort him, I was the one needing comfort. Even with Lily pacing around quite happy with the situation, I was the one that needed her to soothe me. I wanted _someone._ I wanted my brothers. Eddie and Zack. I wanted a complete stranger. I wanted Dave. I just wanted arms around me to take me away from what was happening and what my Flame had done, I felt sympathy and guilt, solely for the fact it was not his choice. He had not consciously chosen to do it.

I cried harder than I ever had in my life.

* * *

"Darrell?"

I had fallen asleep.

The voice around me, calling my name gently, was familiar, but not recognised until I sat up slowly, shook my head a little and saw my best, lifelong friend, Joel Randall, standing in the doorway and grinning that shit-eating get-what-I-want grin. The sepia sleep wore off gently, taking her sweet arms away from me. I blinked at him a few times, unable to believe it, and then my heart took over, aching violently and I threw myself into his arms, trying to make sure he wasn't a figment of my dreams.

"Joel!"

"Hey, man, how are you?"

I looked up and nodded at him but I wasn't too sure; I was shivering and I couldn't control it. I couldn't understand what I was feeling. The adrenaline coursed through my veins and I couldn't relax, and images of that man lying there, terribly burnt, kept tormenting my mind – then it exaggerated, twisted and mutated into different grotesque images; he crumbled to ashes he died he died he died he came back as a zombie and ate my brains I saw his entire body charred and burnt alive he screamed in pain he he he—

And I started crying again.

He caught me as I fell somewhat, suddenly shattered from the shock. He sat me on the bed and only then did I catch a good look of my surroundings. The room was blindingly white and a mint clean smell of disinfectant flooded my nostrils and lying against the table leg was my bag. I felt around my pockets. Phone. MP3 player. Wallet. But I felt no presence of Pokémon and for a moment, I started to panic. When I really shouldn't have been.

"Where are they, Joel? Flame and Ace? Where's Lily and Storm? Oh my God they—"

"Calm down, Darrell," he said, his tone changing from laughing to serious. That was why I loved Joel. He joked about me all the time, but he genuinely cared, more than most friends ever did in their lifetimes. A hand rested around me. "They're fine. Nurse Joy has them in the lobby. Do you want to see them?"

"Flame…" I remembered him; as if he had been a lover from years past; ones out of old historical novels, with yellowing love letters with musical handwriting. But it was only hours ago, maybe not even an hour. I'd lost all track of time and I glanced up at the clock.

Half past three in the morning.

"Flame's alright, too," Joel smiled, interrupting my train of thought. "He's getting back to his old self. And—"

A familiar face peeped through the doorway, bearing a similar smile. And I had never been more glad to see Dave Sullivan at that moment. Joel and I just smiled back, although mine was shaky but I couldn't control it. My panic began to dissuade – I could feel its cobwebs in my heart began to untangle and die. It felt good. Rejuvenating. Breathing life back into me and forcing away regret.

"Thought you might like to know how the guy's doing," Dave grinned. "They got him stable, but he crashed a few times in theatre."

Joel asked what 'crashed' meant but I bit my lip. I already knew what it meant. Eddie told me enough from his science classes for me to understand what it meant. The man's heart had stopped before they could restart it. Whether or not he was alive was beyond me – I felt my smile fade and the cobwebs tangle themselves again, but I fought against the strains of guilt, forcing them away.

_Not my fault. Not my fault._

"…not really, mate, he's fine now, but you called just in time, Darrell…"

"B…But it would've helped if I'd called sooner, right? I-I mean…if I'd called sooner, he might n-not have crashed at all!"

"Don't focus on what _might_ have happened, dude," Joel gripped my hand and spoke seriously. "Didn't you hear Dave? He's fine now. An' that's the main thing."

I was breathing heavily, my chest rising further than it was falling and gripping Joel's hand with an iron fist but he seemed to be completely immune to physical pain then. Ah. I could always trust Joel to be made of steel and to not even notice if he had been insulted; he just laughed it off. I wanted to go back to the old Darrell. It felt like a change had occurred within me; something had made me paranoid and shaky, all of the time, rather than the calm-as-hell badass I had felt like earlier on in my journey.

"…yeah…yeah, I guess…" I managed to say, and Joel squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"Come on. We'll go into the lobby and I'll get you a cup of tea. It'll calm you down."

Reason ten billion and two why he was my best friend.

* * *

Before the three of us left Vermilion, I had a couple of things to sort out before I could have any peace of mind. Joel brought me a cup of tea and after drinking it, all three of us fell asleep, squashed together on a tiny bed; we slept until the somewhat reasonable hour of eleven AM. I woke up refreshed but still with things on my mind, and it was up to me to straighten them out.

The first order of business was dealing with Flame. I had to confront my starter alone, and ask him why he did what he did. I didn't know how to punish him, and I also didn't know how he would deal with it. If he listened to what I had to say and followed it, I guess that would have been enough.

Joel and Dave left the Center to grab lunch for us when I seized the opportunity. Flame followed me into the small room we had slept in and sat down next to me with his arms folded. He intimidated me, I wasn't going to lie. But I was determined to beat it.

"…Flame, I want to know what happened back there…why you did what you did."

He turned away from me. "Char. Charmeleon."

"Because he was hurting his Pokémon?"

"Char."

"Alright."

He looked at me; if he could have raised an eyebrow he would have done it. I had managed to do the seemingly impossible. I had grabbed his attention. I actually had a chance of breaking through. So, I was careful, and kept on talking. I heard Joel and Dave's voices, and begged silently that they wouldn't come through.

"Well, kid…you can't fight my battles for me. That's not what I'm raising you for."

"Charmeleon!"

"I _know_ I'm your trainer. I'm raising you to be the best you can be. To bring out your inner strengths, and your personality, and your qualities. Because you're my family, Flame."

I was on a roll. I fumbled in my bag for my camera and turned it on, clicking a button or two to show him some of the pictures I had taken. I found one at the very start of my journey and began from there. He shuffled next to me, and took a look, clearly listening.

"The thing, is, Flame, raising you guys is like having kids. And when you do that when you're young, you get the opportunity to grow up together. My mum told me before I left that I would have to grow up to look after you, but it doesn't work like that. Sure you can become more responsible, but you can't force something like growing up. And you can't learn life lessons before you've had the experiences."

He stared and I kept going. "Flame, boy, you're the only one I want to be doing this with. Remember last night? Just before Dave found us, you had that emotional breakdown on the plaza and I just sat down beside you and patted your back and let you freak out because, honestly, I felt like fucking freaking out too. And if I feel what you feel, we've gotta have some kind of connection, right? And I want you to know that if you need to, you can freak out as much as you need to. Because I probably need to, too. I love you, kid. Way more than you know."

Flame let out a whine and hugged me. I cuddled him back. I understood it; he needed this, he needed me. He remained there for what seemed like hours, but was actually only a few minutes. After I was done thinking about him, I had another thing to do: another thing that was going to be tougher than breaking through the barriers to my Charmeleon.

I had to talk to the trainer.

* * *

"Dude, he's awake now. Go in. Go _on,_ Darrell," Dave smiled. Joel flanked my left, Dave my right; I was stuck between them and couldn't get out of this now. _Damn, Darrell, you deserve a medal. And a freaking Oscar for hiding back everything._

But I began to rethink that statement as I forced myself to open the ward door. Darrell Redford's body went into autopilot mode – and while my body wandered by itself, I thought not of that awesome movie about autopilots and planes I'd watched but about what in the fuck I was just about to do. Feel the need for speed my ass. I felt the need to curl up and die.

"Hey."

That voice. It was his. The man. I turned in its direction and nearly screamed, expecting to see him horribly burnt with half a face remaining and permanent physical and mental scars when – he wasn't even that bad. His arms were stained with red where the skin had been burnt off, and yellow pus bubbled underneath the exhausted-looking skin. His face was a little bit burnt thanks to my charming and delightful Charmeleon – _today, I have learnt the meaning of the word 'apologetic'._

"Oh my God," I couldn't help myself. I found myself on a chair next to him – _goddamnit body, switch autopilot off please before I ejector-seat your ass!_

"Thought you'd say that."

"I'm...I don't know what to say," I knew it was better just to come out with it. "I know sorry doesn't mean shit. It's a word, and words don't heal anything. So I can't make your burns go away and I can't make any pain stop. I'm the trainer of the Charmeleon that b...that did this to you."

"Heh," he grinned. God, his skin stretched and creased so much when he smiled, he looked like was in agonizing white-hot pain and yet he was smiling for me. Making the effort to smile at me. _I hate you, Darrell Redford. I really, really hate you right now. _"Not gonna lie, I've been through worse."

"...I won't ask. I just want you to know that although it means jack shit, I'm sorry. And I'll do anything for you, right now...if you want it, that is. To make it up to you. Even though it...it won't heal you."

He put up a hand – one that was covered in bandages. I was glad to see he still had fingers. "No. In all honesty, I deserve this. What I did in Vermilion was wrong and your Charmeleon taught me a lesson..." His voice became more solemn. "I'm not from here, you see."

"...oh?"

"Yeah," his voice sounded more pained than ever and I wanted to die. Really. "I'm from a small island just off of Kanto. An' I used to be a member of Team Rocket."

"Then do you know anything about Rocket being in Pallet Town? That's where I'm from, and you better know that I'm worried as fuck."

He shrugged. "I don't. My best guess would be that they want to steal Professor Oak's Pokemon for themselves. There wouldn't be much else in Pallet Town to steal. I wouldn't worry about your family."

But still, the knot of fear returned to my stomach.

"You're a good trainer, kid," the man went on, halting me from thinking any further. "I could see it in the eyes of that Charmeleon. The loyalty and the trust. You did well to train something like that."

I said nothing. _Fuck, is he just trying to make me feel guilty?_

"So...as my sorry for what I did to Vermilion, I want you to have this. It's all I've got, but I wasn't...I wasn't gonna use it."

His clenched hand opened to show me a Thunderstone. The stone was green and had what seemed to be a lightning bolt pattern of shocking yellow; it was beautiful and I could have stared all day. This was what I needed to evolve Ace into a Raichu – _but am I ready to do that yet? Is he ready? Does he even want to evolve?_

"O-Oh," I managed to squeak out, and took the stone from him. "Thanks. Thanks a lot."

"Tell your friend," he went on. "...tell your friend. The one with the...y'know, long hair...I'm sorry."

Dave.

"I will. Thanks a lot. And don't feel bad. We all do stupid things. I've done stupid things, too. And we learn from our mistakes. Listen, pal, if there's anything I can do..."

I found my hand touching his, gently.

"...you let me know. I'll be in Vermilion for the next couple of days."

He nodded. And the silence was killing me; the guilt was killing me; the emotions I couldn't describe were just a slaughter on my poor mind. But yet, a peace surrounded me; a peace that felt as if a great weight had been taken from my shoulders, and placed underground where it belonged; a peace that meant everything really was okay, at least for a while. _Darrell Redford, you are one hell of a strange __guy._ That was alright – even for now. I was even happy to just sit with the man, and let the guilt wash away as slowly as it needed to. That was alright.


End file.
